the Effects of Having Kids

You know your role as "mom" is getting to you when...

1: Your body is trained to sleep only 6 hrs at a time.
2: Your days and nights are "mixed up".
3: Personal hygiene is at an all-time low.
4: Unexpected visitors while using the facilities or showering is perfectly normal.
5: A "balanced" meal is when you can make it through dinner without any tantrums.
6: You have a special relationship with Ronald McDonald.
7: Going to the grocery store by yourself is as good as winning the lottery.
8: The idea of exercising regularly is overwhelming, yet on a daily basis you heft a toddler, an infant, the infant's carrier, a 10-lb diaper bag, your purse, the toddler's stuffed horse, 2 bags of groceries, and a gallon of milk.
9: You find yourself saying everything in sing-song.
10: "Games" are what you call clever ideas to trick kids into eating, cleaning, bathing, etc.
11: While standing still you find yourself rocking back and forth - even when you aren't holding a baby.
12: Barbie, Cinderella, Ariel, & Belle are frequent guests in your home.
13: Your house is littered with little shoes.
14: Swimsuits are not your friend.
15: You find yourself looking to Elmo for wisdom and advice.
16: Your doorknobs are all covered with "kid-proof" protectors that only make it hard for you to open; not your kids.
17: "Going potty" is something you celebrate.
18: You have a zillion pictures of your kids, but can't find a recent one of you.
19: You consider buying frames for the "artwork" on your walls as opposed to cleaning it off... again.
20: You avoid your kitchen in attempts to forget how desperately it needs cleaning.
21: You know the location of every bathroom in every store and the fastest route to each one.
22: Goldfish and Kool-Aid are staples in your pantry.
23: You start wondering if Calgon really can take you away?
24: You have every kid song from every kid movie memorized. And then you find yourself singing them in the checkout line.
25. In one day you change from a princess to a horse, to the monster, to someone walking her dog, to fellow lion, to doctor, to toy-fixer and doll-dresser, to the mermaid nemesis, to storyteller, to exhausted in bed.