Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Last night we arrived home from our Thanksgiving trip. We spent it in Spring, TX with family. Good thing, too, because the way our house is right now, you'd have a hard time finding your way to the kitchen, much less cooking a turkey dinner.
So why is it, that whilst I still have a coffin in my dining room, a ginormous spider hanging from our front entry light and various gargoyles, skulls & tombstones all around the house I am still determined to get out the Christmas decorations right now?
Maybe I ought to at least take down the ghosts hanging outside...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

God is Good

I don't know if it's more the human factor, or a personality quirk that I'm constantly needing reminders that God is aware of me. Even though I already know it. Kinda like how I'm constantly wanting Mark to "prove" he really, actually loves me.
I know.
Chalk it up to insecurity.
In the last couple weeks I've been given the heavenly head's up so blatantly - 2 times! - that I can't just let it sit and not say anything. So naturally I blog! :)
Actually, the first experience was a little too personal to share with everyone. Sorry. But it was one of those times that made it so clear that not only is our Heavenly Father aware of me, but really truly knows me. And when it's so pointed out so obviously, how can you not just feel awesome?
So let me illustrate with my 2nd case-in-point:
Last Thursday night Mark declared that his car had, indeed, bit the dust. Maybe. And unfortunately, in order to determine this he had to tear apart the engine. Not something he was looking forward to. It was a slow, laborious process and by Monday night Mark concluded that either we could spend $100 and a lot of time changing out the gaskets and maybe it would fix the problem, or the problem was a whole lot more serious and we could waste the $100 and still be up a creek. Mind you, this is our beater car we bought on ebay for $537. Yes, we've put $ and time into it since then, of course, but you see the quandary?
In the meantime, Mark had to take my car to work, leaving me car-less and unable to pick-up/drop-off the girls to school. So we turned to our good friend, Craigslist. Sadly there were only 3 vehicles that fit our criteria, and none really looked promising. Mark was depressed. I felt helpless. We discussed our options and just as Mark was concluding that we'd have to just wait for another viable option to post, it did. Right then. Literally. Mark called and we picked it up that night. The guy even dropped the price $100 just to get rid of it faster. And it turned out to be a better purchase than we [nervously] hoped.
It wasn't a million bucks falling out of the sky. It wasn't Clearinghouse Sweepstakes at the door. It wasn't a free-ride, easy out, genie-in-a-bottle wish come true. But it was an answer to a prayer. It was an opportunity when we were hurting for options.
Mostly, it was just one more time that our Father in heaven let us know He cares.

Ummm... thanks?

Last night Andrea was having fun playing with a fan. She kept trying to blow everyone's hair until I finally pointed her in Mark's direction. He put up with it for a while and as his patience was wearing thin Andrea exclaimed:
"There! Now you look like the daddy I always wanted!"


Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Mark: "What day is Christmas on this year?"
Me: "Saturday."
Mark: "And what day is Thanksgiving on this year?"
Me: "Uhhhh... really?"

Love you Mark!

Friday, November 12, 2010

REAL reality

A week or so ago a friend hesitantly shared with me a story illustrating how bad the mess in her kitchen had gotten. I say 'hesitantly,' because she was completely embarrassed and terrified I'd judge and think less of her. Instead I laughed and related my story of shame. Yeah... it involved maggots and a neglected cheese fondue pot.
[pardon me while I go vomit]
So why on earth would I blab and expose my humiliating "dirty secret?"
Good question. Except...
see, for years now I've been developing this theory of mine that I like to call The Game. It's something we all play although it is never discussed. Actually, that's kind of the point: we all try to appear more perfect than we really are. You know, 'put on a happy face,' 'shove the mess in the closet,' 'don't hang out your dirty laundry,' -- all that. There's even a scripted dialogue that is followed when company arrives.
You've been madly cleaning for the last 15 mins. Now you're vacuuming and the doorbell rings. You quickly hide the evidence and then answer the door. Your company comes in, all smiles. You cheerily greet them and then say,
"excuse the mess" or "sorry it's such a disaster" or whatever.
Your company then laughs and says,
"no, no, it looks great - you should see our house!"
And the evening commences.

Why do we do that?
I mean, I realize there is an amount of logistics involved when the couch is required to sit upon rather than hold laundry. And then there is the courtesy factor. But I daresay I'm not the only one who stresses over unannounced visitors, or cringes when the neighbor comes over to use the phone and has to walk through your living room in order to do so. Heaven forbid anyone need to use the bathroom because the kids' bath is always disgusting, and my bath? Yikes. That would require walking through my bedroom! I'll admit I've even canceled Visiting Teaching appointments last minute because there was no possibility of cleaning up in time.
Even with all the light-hearted dialogue of everyone else saying their house is just as messy or worse, it's not enough to feel okay exposing yourself like that. After all, when you go to their house everything is spic-n-span and they're apologizing profusely over nothing. Just like you did. But you don't actually ever SEE the mess in the closet, so you can't really be sure.
And then there are the freaks of nature who you know that really cannot go to bed at night if the dishes are not done.
I used to tell myself that they were just minimalists, and that's why they could keep the house clean -- there was nothing there to clean up.
But I know better.
I know now that there really are people in this world who are just innately able to contain mess. How? No idea. Talent, skill, whatever. I still think it's freakish. But only because I'm jealous. And it makes me feel inferior.
But WHY?
I don't feel ashamed that I'm no Picasso. I openly admit I have no athletic ability and yet have never thought myself less of a person because of it.
So why all the shame over my house?
Part of it is that for a long time I didn't believe anyone else truly was as messy as I/my house.
Irrational, I realize. But still. I'm just beginning to believe that there are other people out there like me. And not just criminals or bad people. Regular folks. Probably... maybe... most folks.
This brings me back to my theory -- that we all play The Game: make yourself look better than you really are.
The problem is, it's a stupid game. It benefits no one to put up a pretense. In fact, it isolates you in your time of need, which, for me, happens to be quite often. But I'm too embarrassed to ask for help. Someone might find me out and discover what is already plain knowledge -- that I'm not perfect. Surprise!

I'm rambling. Sorry.

It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.
I'm feeling overwhelmed and therefore way under... par? Sub-standard. Out of sorts. Not up to snuff. Flailing. Failing.
And just to prove my point, here is proof of my disgrace:

My house, in all its glory.
(note the Halloween decor yet to be put away)


dining rm - yes, that's a full-sized coffin instead of a table

living rm

kids' rooms - in all fairness, they were making forts

hallway, kids' bath

"music room" aka: storage

my bedroom, and yes, I did just make my bed.
(note all the bags of food storage piled up)

And with all that, all I can do is take pictures and show everyone! LOL

Reality is, this is reality. (Brilliant, I know)
I'm not gifted in the house-keeping arena. Even worse with kids & pregnancy.
But I'm tired of feeling inferior, ashamed and like a horrible person.
Because at the end of the day,
this is what I get to do --

-- and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So just be warned, I'm giving fair notice right now:
if you come to my house there is an overwhelmingly good chance that it will be a disaster and look like a tornado (or 3) has gone through it.
And I'm not going to apologize anymore. It is what it is.
But I also promise you won't hear a word of complaint about your house. Not ever.
Bring on the mess!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

another Lacie-ism

"Mom! Mom! I really love Hyrum now, see? I don't poke him in the eye anymore!"

Friday, November 5, 2010


Just had to brag...
cos I'm just a little bit proud.
Okay. A lot proud.
As of tonight I am completely done with the shopping AND wrapping of all gifts for Hyrum's birthday, Lacie's birthday, our anniversary, and the kids' ENTIRE Christmas - including all gifts from Santa's workshop plus stocking stuffers!
Oh yeah!
Additionally, I'm scouting out the best deal for Mark's gift, my plan is in progress for the sibling gifts, I'm waiting for my present to come out in stores so I can give it to Mark to give to me, and I've got 1 of 3 school teachers covered.
tell me I'm not amazing!
(actually, don't - let me enjoy my moment)

In other news...
Mark is the coolest dad ever. His girls tearfully waved good-bye to him tonight as he left for a scout camp-out which they each wanted so very much to attend. As luck would have it, only 1 boy showed up so they had to cancel (camping policy). Sooo,
Mark is now currently snoring away with his 2 little honorary scouts in his tent set up in the living room.
And yes, he really is snoring. Good thing the girls are heavy sleepers!!


Mom: "Lacie, you need to go get some pants on -- you're sick, you need to be warm."
Lacie: "No no no no no; I'm sick because I eat my boogers."