Saturday, May 31, 2008

Dance, Dance, Dance

We have definitely caught the dance-bug around here. Ever since I signed up to take a ballet class (yes, I know, so COMPLETELY random), the girls have been going nuts, well, even nuttier about dancing. I caved and got them both some ballet shoes, and they have been on cloud 9 with them. So I figured it would be fun to take them to the dance studio's Spring Recital.

Of course we had to go looking like we fit in.

And then for the entire time that we were there Andrea danced and danced and danced in the aisle, trying to imitate what was going on onstage. Then when the tiny beginner class came out, she ran to me and said excitedly, "Mom, those are my friends!"

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Poor Mark

Someone told me once that even-numbered birthdays aren't as "difficult" as the odd-numbered ones. What they failed to mention is that by not being difficult they were also not as spotlighted.
And so it was, that Mark turned 38 and got so little fanfare and acknowledgement that he actually told someone after the fact that he was 37. Poor guy. (Although... I wonder if that is a legitimate trick - if you aren't recognized on your birthday, can you just not claim that you've had it? Hmmm....)
Anyway, he was a good sport about it. It being the fact that he was not sung to in bed in the morning, as custom goes; we weren't even awake when he left for work; he got a gift that Andrea had spilled the beans about a month earlier; I left him to babysit while I went to my dance class; and though I did manage to make him a birthday cake, I did not manage to frost it, so he didn't even get birthday cake until the next night.

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to make up for that next year.

See though? Good sport.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Catching Up

Okay, so for journaling purposes I feel the need to get in some of my fun things about my kids that I've recently been too lazy to post. (hence the heading)
Let's start with how cute they are... I mean, c'mon, every mom has to brag about how cute her kids are to every other mom who thinks she's wrong because her kid is the cutest. This particular Sunday I couldn't resist. And I was having a decent hair day, so why not?

And now I have to spotlight them... and their quirks...

Lately Andrea has been spewing interesting phrases like, "We're trapped in Laverna's lair," or "We got lost in the magical forest," or "This map will show us the way to the Wand of Light." I guess I can blame Barbie for that. You know, I take no responsibility for the fact that Andrea watches her movies 50 billion times a day.

(Andrea in her "scary forest tree")

But I must say, the kid's creativity is pretty high. Her latest thing is to use all resources available (i.e. couch cushions, blankets, toys, mail, Mom's clothes, chairs, boxes, etc) and turn them into the most amazingly intricate "car" or "train" or whatever mode of transportation she needs at the moment. Really, it's a bit boggling when I get a good look at it - while taking it apart so we can have chairs to use at the dinner table.

(Believe it or not, this isn't even the half of what it turned into)

And then there is her recent obsession with the Astle family children. She talks about all her friends all the time, but lately Elliot has been making starring role appearances in bedtime stories, and then out of the blue one day Andrea showed me her doll named 'Caroline.' She doesn't even like dolls!

(Andrea with 'baby Caroline')

And then there's Lacie. What a character! What a spit-fire! Her favorite thing is to be "Makid" (translation: naked), and helpfully points out anyone else who looks naked to her. This, by the way, could mean that their merely missing a shirt (neighbor boy across the street) or missing the bottom half of a skirt (neighbor girl next door) or trying to potty train (friend's son -- you know who you are) or just in the midst of peacefully minding my own business whilst trying to take a shower (need I say more?). Sooo helpful.

She's also very helpful at gathering up clothes from around the house - like around my closet, or around Mark's dresser drawers, or around the folded towels in the laundry basket. What a helpful child!

(This one is going to be a fashion designer some day)

Gotta love 'em!

Monday, May 26, 2008


to Mark while we were camping
(Andrea): Daddy, let's go see the world!

to Net, after angrily smacking her hand down on the floor and then getting that "Mom stare" in response - the one with the raised eyebrow as if to say, 'Are you sure you want to do that?'
: Look, my hand likes to bounce on the carpet! See? Bounce, bounce, bounce...

(Andrea): Mom, will you marry me?
(Net): I can't, I'm already married to Daddy.
(Andrea): Ok, I'll go ask Lacie.

Call of the Wild

So the weekend before this last we finally went camping with the kids for the first time. Sad, I know. Naturally, the kids freaked with delight as we let them loose in the open after being cooped up in the house for... well, ever. Poor kids. In the first 10 mins they saw 2 rabbits, a duck and all kinds of cool-looking birds - you know, something different from the nasty Grackels who love to poop on our car.
Unfortunately we got a really late start so when I discovered just 1/2 mile from the house that our camera batteries were dead, my request to go back was over-ridden by a very anxious Mark, who proved to show great foresight and wisdom since our timing secured for us the last of the "secluded" campsites not 10 minutes before a herd of trucks and trailers overflowing with obnoxious boy scouts pulled in, taking the rest of the spots.
So, this being our first camp-out with the kids I, naturally, learned some good things to remember for next time that I will graciously pass along...

1. Bring your own TP.
2. Either bring your own firewood or be prepared to climb dead trees and break off limbs.
3. There is no shame in using "scout juice."
4. S'mores are just too big to fit IN little mouths.
5. A blackend hot dog does not necessarily indicate that the inside is no longer frozen.
6. In order for a grill to work on a campfire, it actually has to be over the fire, not just beside it.
7. You actually can crack an egg in a lunch sack, throw in a strip of bacon, and cook it over the fire without the bag going up in flames. And it IS edible (haha Jon & Dad who laughed at me for years for saying it really worked). Although if you have the choice to use a dutch oven instead you are just stupid not to.
8. Bringing a little potty-trainer potty is about the best thing you can bring next to a tent and matches. And that's not just for the kids.
9. Make sure if you have to use the potty-trainer potty in the middle of the night there aren't boy scouts across the way who are also up and about and watching you.
10. If you decide to get frisky with your sweetheart, make absolute certain that the kids are in fact still asleep. Or in another tent.

Another Andria-ism

Mark and Andrea were outside, looking at some balloons that had gotten tangled in some power lines. The following conversation ensued:

: Daddy, will you get those for me?
(Mark): I can't. They're too high for me to climb up to.
(Andrea): Ok. Lacie can do it - she's a monkey.

(The part that concerns me is that Mark's reason for not messing with power lines is not that they can electrocute him, start a fire, cause lots of damage, etc. Nope, they're just too high to climb up to.)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Been A While

So I haven't done so much blogging lately. Not really sure why unless you count my recent addiction to Solitaire Craving. Blast those free game websites! So anyway, apologies to those of you who check daily with baited breath and have been continually disappointed...haha. Okay, so I'm flattering myself. But still. It gets annoying when you keep hoping to get your daily dose of someone else's life and they STILL haven't updated (cough, cough, Molly).
So here's your dose of V-juice to anyone reading:

My Tirade About Cops

Cops are great. We need 'em. They protect us. They bravely face danger I'm sure quite frequently. Maybe depending on the position. Again, they're great...unless they are staked out, hiding in the median, in the middle of the road picking off unsuspecting drivers who are NOT speeding, nor are they making illegal turns; in fact they even have their blinker on and correctly turn left only into the lane nearest them unlike probably 95% of other drivers out there, but just might happen to have an expired inspection tag, which, by the way, is the biggest scam out there - like my 2003 Sonata really has emissions problems, and yet I'm totally busted if I don't go in yearly to sit in the grimy-est of waiting rooms, trying desperately to keep my 2 kids under control while shielding them from the scantily-clad-woman-with-no-logical-reason-
for-sitting-on-the-hood-of-a-car magazines, awaiting the slow-as-molasses techs to take their time trying to determine if my car is going to contribute to the hoax that is called global warming.
At that point I'm not such a fan of the cops. And I'm even less of a fan when he tells me that the ticket is $208. (gasp) Oh, and by the way, I can't go to the courthouse of the city I was driving and cited in. Too easy! I have to go down to Grand Prairie since he's a Dallas County deputy. Of course. Because the crime rate in Dallas has dropped so drastically that the deputies no longer have anything better to do than camp out in quiet neighborhoods and watch for expired tags. That is, until the evening, when they switch to calling at dinnertime to ask for a donation for the Officers Want, er Need More Money fund.
Again, cops are great. We need 'em. But let me ask you this: if I were to call you up and say that my husband works a really hard job with no A/C, and does lots of hard mental and physical labor all day but isn't being paid what he's worth, so can I count on your support for a yearly pledge of XXX.XX dollars, what would you say?
What if I throw in a cool bumper sticker?

Book Tag



1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence.
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people

Book: the LDS church Hymnal, HYMNS
"Our Fa-ther, God Of all cre-a-tion, hear us pray
In rev'rence, awed By thy Son's sac-ri-fice."

(for all you hymn-scholars, yes, that is Our Savior's Love, and yes it is #113, but it really is on pg. 123 'cause I counted, and yes, I went with full sentences.)

TAG: Molly, Keith, Rosie, Jon, & Jen (Lund)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mom moments

It doesn't happen very often that I get to have one of those "mom moments" that melt your heart and bring tears to your eyes, so I try to cherish every one. Today Andrea fell asleep as I stroked her hair. Okay, so probably that happened because she's way over-tired and has been a little terror lately, but that's another post. Anyway...
As I lifted her up to put her into bed I caught a glimpse of Andrea as a baby. Maybe that sounds strange, but somehow as I cradled her in my arms I was completely taken back in time to those first days of awe at this new, beautiful little girl. And I got to remember that feeling of overwhelming "mom love," wondering how I could possibly be so lucky and what is this little girl going to grow up to be like, and never having a clue until that moment that I could be part of something so ... perfect.
I guess that's why being a mom is so special - because under all the tantrums and mischiefs and accidents and yelling, crying, screaming, fighting, hitting, biting, throwing, hiding, breaking, sneaking, spilling, destroying, etc, etc, etc., every once in a while you get to glimpse your baby as the most remarkable thing "you've ever done."

Only for a mom

Okay, how many people can say that they are given exclusive access to live performers/performances at any given moment? Even in, say, the bathroom?
Well, I am. And this morning I was given a special performance of Andrea's "How to be a Princess" song and dance.
Ah, the benefits of being a mom.

(In case you're wondering, key requisites to being a princess are orange high heels and a pink nightgown. Oh, and you have to know how to go potty like a big girl.)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Does this look like the face of innocence or what?

Drama Alert

Poor Andrea. Life is so hard. She is currently buried under a heap of blankets and pillows, weeping. (think Snow White in the forest) Lacie is in the kitchen, stiff as a board, her whole body shaking with "rage."
The cause of such dramatic performances?
Andrea had her "scriptures" in her basket. Lacie swiped the scriptures. I took it from Lacie, since in actuality it was my own personal notebook keifed by Andrea in the first place.
Such drama!
On the up-side, we may have the makings of Oscar winners...


Bed-Bugs: small children who sneak into your bed at night and then manifest their presence by a foot-to-the-ribs or elbow-to-the-head technique.
*children may or may not have just wet their bed and therefore still be in their drenched pajamas.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Where does the sneak come from?

I gotta just ask, how on earth do kids learn to be so sneaky so young? I know they don't just learn from each other, because Andrea was a super-stealth before Lacie came along. And I'm not talking the run-of-the-mill "it wasn't me" with her hands covered in peanut butter scenario. No, no. I'm talking about a full-on 'realizes as she's reaching for something obviously forbidden that I'm watching so she quickly changes direction to "pet" the lampshade and say, "Pretty".'
Seriously. Where does a kid learn a thing like that? Or like when I found her cradling what I thought was a doll, only to find out that she'd emptied a bag of marshmallows into a blanket and faked that it was a baby while she slyly slipped the marshmallows out when I wasn't looking. Ummm...? Hello?
And it's not just Andrea either. Lacie is just as good, if not better. It started with petty theft - casually standing by, watching Andrea playing with toys only to swoop in at just the right time, swipe a toy, and take off running. Then she learned evasive manuvers like shoving the toy under the couch when Andrea was hot on her trail. Next she just perfected her art of pick-pocketing by using distraction techniques. Now she is doing the full-blown manipulation. I mean, what am I supposed to think when my kid comes running up to hug me, then just lays there in my lap while I hold her -- and then I find out she's doing it because she swiped some other kid's pacifier and is secretly sucking on it with her head buried in my lap so that I can't see! Honestly!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Speaking Andrean

When Andrea was tiny, like, say, 11 months old, the kid would jabber like crazy. And she was good at it. No one had a clue what she was saying, but she did and boy she'd let you know, too! As she got a few months older her favorite pastime was performing monologues on the fireplace hearth. She'd dramatically pace back and forth, spewing all sorts of speeches that again, no one but she could understand. We used to call her own little language "Andrean."
"Andrean" has now evolved into a more sophisticated language. It is thankfully more understandable than before, but still just as hilarious to us, mostly due to the fact that she's talking about concepts she doesn't yet understand. Like, say for example, when she asks Lacie to marry her. Or stomps off after being told "No" to something and yells, "That's not the truth!" Or when she begs saying, "I very want to do this." Or calls every ghost-like picture she sees 'her Holy Ghost.'
The best, however, are her prayers. Blessings over the food are the most entertaining. She starts off with the usual "thank you for the food, please bless the food," and then begins wandering off into subjects she's more interested in - like having Santa from Christmas come visit and getting to ride her bike in the sand. If she's feeling really sneaky, sometimes she'll slip in things about 'Mom not sending her to time-out' or 'Lacie not having the pink horse' or some other crafty, manipulative statement. After all, it is her own personal request time with God, right?
So you can imagine my little surprise today when I caught myself "speaking Andrean" to the girls. I had just handed them a glass of pink bunny milk and then said, "I very want you to drink this in the kitchen."

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Gotta give it to her for trying.

Poor Andrea. With all the sickness going on I think she's been getting a little cabin fevered, but in reverse? Not sure. What do you call it when your kid isn't trying to get out so much as they are trying to keep you IN?

This is her effort to blockade the door so I couldn't leave...

(notice the sleeping bags placed as additional hurdles)


Roadshow: the spectacle of a pregnant woman running a red light so that she can pull off the road in time to fling the door open and puke all over the road, but not in time to not require a hand to cover the mouth, keeping contents "in" before the door is flung open and therefore not able to put the car in PARK, so that as said woman is up-chucking the car is slowly running further off the road and down the hill.
Other motorists may participate by honking and cat-calling while passing the scene.

Friday, May 9, 2008

And may I just say...

that whomever coined the phrase "morning sickness" was an idiot. That's about as appropriately named as the "2-hour flu."

Out of Commission

So I guess it's been fairly obvious that my blog has gotten very little attention from me lately. I could just say "we've been sick lately," and have it all summed up short and sweet. But I'm just not satisfied that leaving it at that would give me my full props for what really happens to a household if Mom gets sick. Or if both kids get sick. Or if Dad is constantly tired and then gets sick, and then one of the kids comes down with something and then the other succumbs, and then Mom, who has been suffering all along with "morning" sickness, realizes that the darkening redness of eyes may in fact be due to something other than the daily... management ... of the kids, since it is just found out that the neighbor kid who was over here on Tuesday has now been taking medication for Pink Eye, but then med-student friend declares that as unlikely as it is, we are lucky enough to have everyone 'down' - all with a different diagnosis, each involving pained, but not Pink, eyes, but just to keep it straight that communicable diseases are still communicable, everyone gives Mom their symptoms and is better with maybe just a lingering sore throat and cough that still, of course, requires utmost attention and care and baby-ing that all good moms are required to dole out regardless of whether or not they are about to drop dead.
But I think it would take too long to explain.