Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm warning you...

so I realize I vent quite a bit about being pregnant. It is the biggest thing going on right now -literally, haha. Or not so haha. Actually that's the point I'd like to make. Or rather warning. If I have one more person ask, "How many do you have in there?" followed by, "Are you sure? Did they already do a thing to check and see?" I think I will literally go postal.
Has it ever been acceptable in our society to walk up to someone with wide eyes and ask them how long they've been obese? And then scoff at their answer as if surely they must have had more time than that to consume that many calories. Or how 'bout asking them if they always put on that much weight when going through a difficult time?
I didn't think so.
So why, oh why would anyone possibly think that it would be okay to suddenly make such remarks to a woman who is extra emotional, extra hormonal, and has absolutely no control over the fact that the parasite spawned within may or may not be stretched out length-wise just to see how far in fact her stomach will stretch before the skin bursts and pieces are left on the walls. Don't know about yall, but I feel pretty cool and sexy like that. Especially when I waddle. So c'mon - take a pot-shot at me.
I dare you...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Too funny

after Lacie had swiped a toy...

(Andrea): "Lacie, you have to say sorry."
(Lacie): "Sorry Andrea."
(Andrea): "Now you have to say sorry to Heavenly Father."
(Lacie): "Sorry Heavenly Father."

Wa-hoo Craigslist!

You have to love that the internet provides you everything whilst in the comfort of your pajamas -- even garage sales. It's awesome. And it's brought to you by Craigslist. My new favorite addiction. I started small - got some kids clothes and a toy. Then quickly expanded my horizon and moved on to bigger items. And I got the most amazing deals!
2 nice couches for $250
4 barstools for $50
A french-door fridge for $300. And this one, Mark found the same model in a Lowes ad a few weeks later for $999. Hello!

So now I have to brag about the most recent steals. For a couple years I have been drooling with jealousy over my sister-in-law's play kitchen she had gotten her kids for Christmas. One that my kids played with every time we went there. Big, beautiful, beyond my budget. Until ... I found the posting for the slightly "upgraded" model -- a $300 price tag in stores for FIFTY BUCKS. I couldn't believe it! No way. Obviously this seller didn't realize that she could be selling it for 3x as much and still it would go like a hotcake.

Needless to say, Andrea got an early birthday present!
But the absolute best was the deal we got on our newly acquired TV. And not just any tv -- it's a 51". Massive. Especially considering that this was our old tv:

A whopping 15" that Mark got back in his college days. (He's 38 if that tells you anything)

So here's the new one w/ Andrea in front of it for reference as to its size:

The 21" next to it is one we've had but couldn't use because it didn't fit in the entertainment center. Lame, I know. But we ended up having to pull it out and use it because the first time I turned on the big one it scared Andrea so bad she was in tears! Hilarious.

Okay, so here's the best part -- what we paid for the 51": $0.00. Unless you count gas money. But seriously, it was free. GIVEN away. Swee--eet!! The "catch" was that there's something funky with the red coloring that needs to be fixed. Yeah, we need to buy 2 $10 parts. That's it! Talk about a score!
So yes, I am officially now a craigslist fan.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tagged again


How To Play This Game of Tag:
Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts about yourself. Tag 3 people at the end of your post by leaving their names.

1. hearing compliments about my kids
2. my kids' ever-increasing level of self-sufficiency
3. ballet

1. how I die
2. that Mark will die
3. my kids getting abducted

1. to make dinner at least 1 time a week
2. to feed my kids at least twice a day
3. to have a clean house some time before the baby comes

1. Highlander tv series on hulu
2. Lacie's new curls
3. Sunday/FHE activity books I just bought

1. I have commitment issues
2. I am a big chicken when watching intense/scary shows
3. sometimes I act like I don't know what I'm doing when I really do - maybe to be modest?? but then if someone tries to give me pointers I get super annoyed because I know what I'm doing and I don't need help

Marylund, Erin, Jen

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Not sure

I'm not sure if as a parent I'm doing something really right or really wrong when my kid comes to me and asks if I could please put them to bed now...
Maybe I'll just stick with really lucky.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Never Again

If you have ever been sitting down, peacefully eating your lunch only to look up and have your entire appetite wiped out when you get an eyeful of body - wriggling, squishing and heaving to heft itself up a playland tunnel - not sure if you're seeing leg, belly or fat rolls slithering around, then blindly groping for a wickedly-cackling 2yr old at the top who thinks it's funny to dodge and run from the hands trying to reach her... then you might understand my new-found aversion to McDonald's and their stupid playland area that I used to think was heaven-sent and now believe it is a cruel, cruel joke to all parents whose kids can climb up but not down and are forced to crawl up the child-sized space to the very tip top and then back down, empty-handed, because they were afraid to cross the bridge of netting for fear of breaking it and plummeting to their death.
You'd think they'd wise up and put in an emergency stairwell alongside for all the parents who don't enjoy being overheard telling a stranger child to
"...go ahead and just push her -- it's okay... I know she'll cry... I know... go ahead... can you grab her arm? ... how 'bout her leg... yes, it really is okay to just yank on her leg... even if she cries... no, seriously... yank... yank harder... even harder... really pull... now just push her down the slide... yes, push... PUSH... it's okay... no, your parents won't get mad... please? ... please! COULD YOU JUST PUSH MY KID DOWN THE SLIDE PLEASE?! ..."

Thursday, August 7, 2008


You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet.

You always know how to brighten someone's mood, but you're not overly sappy.

In fact, you can be a bit too honest at times. And most people find that refreshing.

While you're always true to yourself, you keep things light. That's how people are able to stomach your slightly bitter outlook.

Those who like you have well refined tastes.

You're complicated - and let's face it - a true enigma.

You enjoy defying expectations, and there are many layers to your personality.

There's not one easy way to define you.


I know I'm biased an all, but seriously, even the objective on-looker would have to agree that this is an absolutely amazing photo.

The lighting, colors, pose, etc. I think it could even pass for somewhere in Venice.
Anyway, props to Mom who took it.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Random Question

If you are all alone in your house, do you close the door when you use the bathroom?

Just curious.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Who needs a dog anyway?

I've never been one for pets. Ask any one of my friends who have dogs. I don't do dogs. Unfortunately for my kids, they love dogs. They love to play "dog" where they act like dogs, bark like dogs, and even lick me like a dog. I know, weird.
So after all their beggings and pleadings I finally gave in and got myself a poodle...

Isn't she the most adorable pooch you ever saw?


So cute!!

Sunday, August 3, 2008


So I have said aloud many times that I intend to go straight to the Complaints Department after I die because I have a few issues with how things are run here on Earth.
Cos there are some seriously messed up things here that we're dealing with, and I would like to know just who came up the idea of how pregnancy works?
Honestly. Who sat down and thought,

"Well, let's see -- we'll have them get really tired and really sick so they'll constantly be nauseated and/or puking. Yeah, and then let's have them not want to eat for the first while, then totally reverse it for another little while, and finally for the last bit make 'em want to eat but not be able to fit it in. Ooh, and throw in some funky food aversions and cravings. But make their noses super sensitive so things don't smell or taste right. And that can add to the puking and the nausea.

"And if that doesn't get their attention soon enough, make their breasts really sore and tender, and where they have to pee constantly - day and night. Especially at night when they've finally fallen asleep after hours of laying awake, cos we don't want them sleeping either. And make sure to intensify the not being able to sleep as they go along.

"And do you know what would be really cool? If they have to worry about weight loss AND weight gain. And stretch marks. Definitely stretch marks. Make those all over, too - arms, boobs, tummy, hips, thighs. And if they could retain water, then it would make their whole body swell. Especially the legs so that they can have cankles with clubs for feet. And sometimes there could even be some issues with varicose and spider veins.

"Of course then there's the general discomfort -- all the back pains, tendon-stretching pains, kicking-in-the-ribs pains; that with no energy, a new center of gravity and losing all coordination would make for great times getting out of bed, bending over and getting in the car. Carrying other children would be a no-no, though they'll end up doing it anyway, and how fun would it be to lose bladder control so crossing and squeezing legs would be necessary each time a sneeze comes on in order to prevent peeing their pants?!

"Then mess with the hormones to do weird stuff with their skin and hair. Throw plenty of dramatic mood swings in that they won't be able to control, and don't let them use any medication stronger than tylenol. Short term memory loss is a must as well as a complete inability to articulate simple sentence structures. Foot size should change as well as body shape, especially with the hips and butt. And make sure to mix things up each pregnancy so they're not all the same.

"Good, huh? So what do you think, should 9 months about cover it? Great. Now let's move on to labor and delivery..."