Never Again

If you have ever been sitting down, peacefully eating your lunch only to look up and have your entire appetite wiped out when you get an eyeful of body - wriggling, squishing and heaving to heft itself up a playland tunnel - not sure if you're seeing leg, belly or fat rolls slithering around, then blindly groping for a wickedly-cackling 2yr old at the top who thinks it's funny to dodge and run from the hands trying to reach her... then you might understand my new-found aversion to McDonald's and their stupid playland area that I used to think was heaven-sent and now believe it is a cruel, cruel joke to all parents whose kids can climb up but not down and are forced to crawl up the child-sized space to the very tip top and then back down, empty-handed, because they were afraid to cross the bridge of netting for fear of breaking it and plummeting to their death.
You'd think they'd wise up and put in an emergency stairwell alongside for all the parents who don't enjoy being overheard telling a stranger child to
"...go ahead and just push her -- it's okay... I know she'll cry... I know... go ahead... can you grab her arm? ... how 'bout her leg... yes, it really is okay to just yank on her leg... even if she cries... no, seriously... yank... yank harder... even harder... really pull... now just push her down the slide... yes, push... PUSH... it's okay... no, your parents won't get mad... please? ... please! COULD YOU JUST PUSH MY KID DOWN THE SLIDE PLEASE?! ..."