Disgruntled

So I have said aloud many times that I intend to go straight to the Complaints Department after I die because I have a few issues with how things are run here on Earth.
Seriously.
Cos there are some seriously messed up things here that we're dealing with, and I would like to know just who came up the idea of how pregnancy works?
Honestly. Who sat down and thought,

"Well, let's see -- we'll have them get really tired and really sick so they'll constantly be nauseated and/or puking. Yeah, and then let's have them not want to eat for the first while, then totally reverse it for another little while, and finally for the last bit make 'em want to eat but not be able to fit it in. Ooh, and throw in some funky food aversions and cravings. But make their noses super sensitive so things don't smell or taste right. And that can add to the puking and the nausea.

"And if that doesn't get their attention soon enough, make their breasts really sore and tender, and where they have to pee constantly - day and night. Especially at night when they've finally fallen asleep after hours of laying awake, cos we don't want them sleeping either. And make sure to intensify the not being able to sleep as they go along.

"And do you know what would be really cool? If they have to worry about weight loss AND weight gain. And stretch marks. Definitely stretch marks. Make those all over, too - arms, boobs, tummy, hips, thighs. And if they could retain water, then it would make their whole body swell. Especially the legs so that they can have cankles with clubs for feet. And sometimes there could even be some issues with varicose and spider veins.

"Of course then there's the general discomfort -- all the back pains, tendon-stretching pains, kicking-in-the-ribs pains; that with no energy, a new center of gravity and losing all coordination would make for great times getting out of bed, bending over and getting in the car. Carrying other children would be a no-no, though they'll end up doing it anyway, and how fun would it be to lose bladder control so crossing and squeezing legs would be necessary each time a sneeze comes on in order to prevent peeing their pants?!

"Then mess with the hormones to do weird stuff with their skin and hair. Throw plenty of dramatic mood swings in that they won't be able to control, and don't let them use any medication stronger than tylenol. Short term memory loss is a must as well as a complete inability to articulate simple sentence structures. Foot size should change as well as body shape, especially with the hips and butt. And make sure to mix things up each pregnancy so they're not all the same.

"Good, huh? So what do you think, should 9 months about cover it? Great. Now let's move on to labor and delivery..."