Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"I was talking to the brown lady" ...

... and other proud public moments with the kids.

Kids are not ones for subtlety. Neither do they understand the concept of discretion. And totally not PC. Yes, Andrea has proven that time and again with statements (very LOUD statements) in the grocery store like, "I'm afraid of the black man!" I mean, really, how is anyone there to know that her parents are not bigots and her to be the same, but that we had just seen a "live" Star Wars exhibit where Darth Vader scared the wits out of her.
It's kind of like that box of chocolates Forrest Gump talked about - where you never know what you're going to get. They open their mouths in public and watch out. No topic is off-limits to them. "Naked" is just another word, and saying how fat the man in front of us is, is merely stating the facts.
And I think most times most people understand that's how kids are. If you're using taboo language in the check-out line, a 3yr old just may call you on it. And if your pants are riding like a plumber's, you'd better believe they are going to notice and say so. And for all the hygenically-challenged, you'll know when you've gone too long without a bath because somehow the same kid who doesn't seem to care that she sits in a poopy diaper for an hour will point out how bad YOU stink.
But none of that is half as bad as when kids repeat. Oh and they repeat. They're just like parrots, but worse. Because it usually has nothing to do with food, unless they're bragging that for breakfast this morning mom let them eat a bag of M&Ms and nothing else. And it's never the stuff you spend hours trying to get them to say/do on command, like reciting the Gettysburg Address or doing a perfect Arabesque. Nope. It's all the stuff they overhear you say while you were on the phone. Fuming. About so-and-so who did such-and-such because they're a blankety-blank. Ah yes, that's the stuff that comes out. In church. Usually to the person's face. Or to their teacher who is best friends with them. Swell. And trying to deny it is the worst thing you can do because they'll insist that they did too hear it -- just this morning when you said this and then that and then you started talking about them. And it's all downhill from there.

By the way, I've been searching, unsuccessfully, on Craigslist for a muzzle. If anyone sees one, will you let me know?

4 comments:

Jen said...

Holy cow! That makes me cringe just imagining that happening! (Ah, "cringe" I just got that word on boggle tonight... and cringes and cringed. Sorry, tangent.) You made me laugh and go wide-eyed!

Courtenay said...

Eric has a friend with a "black head." Kids just say it as they see it.

GaryB said...

Yeah, tell me about it, little miss subtle as a brick through a bay window, eh? I remember a little blonde pony-tailed girl who took EVERYTHING someone said as literal, remember ....?

Sally said...

Oh no! :P