Forget the "apple," "pear" or "hourglass" shapes, I need something to flatter my post-partum "Weeble-Wobble" shape.
I just spent a horrific night of trying on clothes at a store, and I've decided that there are absolutely no designers out there who have the compassion and/or imagination for designing mom clothes. I mean, is it really that hard to create an outfit that will camoflauge thunder thighs, hide the muffin-top, disguise back-fat, lift droopy boobs, create the illusion of a waistline, elongate the legs, and flatter the back-side? Really.
After one of my prior pregnancies I had the brilliant idea of just buying a corset. You know, squish me smaller. I looked into it and found them a little pricey -- around $80. My mom suggested that I just spend $80 on salad. Looking back, I don't think she meant for me to eat all $80 of salad at once.
In consolation, I do recall reading a very scientific article at the check-out line explaining how a lack of sleep and over-abundance of stress causes your body to crave sweets & fats. And why aliens only come out at night.
7 comments:
I feel your pain. My belly shakes when I laugh "like a bowl full of jelly." Post-partum bodies are a cruel joke. You are sleep deprived, stressed, physically exhausted, your body doesn't work anyway, and then it's wobbly and misshapen. Nice. I realize that not all women are gifted this. Some can run one week after giving birth. Some can don a swimsuit. I think I'd look better in a moo moo.
Your way with words always makes me laugh, Netty!
I'm right there with you. I caved in and bought shapewear AND I'm trying to cut carbs. But it's hard when you live in a house full of people who don't see why they can't have carbs and sweets just because you can't. And I'm sorry, but when there's an open box of pizza on the table.....
Its not just you. I think that the older we get, gravity gets stronger and pulls everything out of place (including my hair)
Well your just getting me all excited to have kids now aren't ya? :)
So I've kind of been out of the blogging world for awhile now and just read your past 5 or so posts and I just wanted to say that your family is so cute!
You could probably make an outfit out of $80 worth of salad.
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