A Short (horror) Story

ONE DAY... while we were still in the tearing-out stage of remodel, I walked into the kitchen to see these 2 huge bloodstains with another giant pool of blood next to them on the floor. (These are now old and dry, and not heaped together with -really- a gigantic pool of blood next to them, so not nearly as effective, but you get the idea.)
NATURALLY... I started hyperventilating and went into panic mode, wondering whom was cut and bleeding to death and wondering why I wasn't hearing the screams and if it was because they were already passed out from loss of blood or what was going on.
UPON FURTHER INVESTIGATION... the kids were fine, Mark was fine, no animals had died a sad death in our kitchen, all was well. Except me - still hyperventilating.
TURNS OUT... way back at Halloween I had filled a spray bottle full of fake blood to squirt on our front windows. It gave it a really authentically creepy look that, unfortunately, was wasted since our party was at night and no one saw the blood squirts anyway. Instead of being put away, however, the spray bottle was stashed in the kitchen and then transferred to the floor upon remodel construction, to then be stepped upon and crushed so that it could then leak very realistic fake blood and totally freak me out.
IN THE END... I was happy that someone was "had" by the fake blood. Even if it was myself.



P.S.
For Easter I taught a lesson to the Primary where I had the kids open up 12 eggs, each with a representation of an event that led to the real Easter. The instructions I was getting this lesson from called for the 2nd egg to have a piece of white cloth with a drop of red food coloring on it to represent Christ's suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. Not thinking anything of it, I thought I was brilliant by cutting a square from the sheet already doused in "blood." So when the poor little boy (Gabe McQuivey) opened up the egg and saw the blood-soaked cloth he was hesitant to touch it. Not understanding, I kept telling him, "Pick it up! Show everyone what it is!" He stood there a good 4-5 mins really not wanting to touch the nasty cloth before I finally clued in on what the problem was and hurriedly told him it wasn't real blood! (And then I died laughing)