Auto woes

Alas.

I hate car trouble.

I think everyone does.

My mom hates it enough that she named her new car "Charity" -- because 'Charity never faileth.'

We can all hope. (and have faith! hahaha! I crack myself up)

This weekend we were hit with a double whammy:

Friday afternoon, Black Jack* started acting funny. I pulled over and wouldn't you know, he wouldn't start again. Stupid alternator.

Of course I had all 4 kids with me. And no phone.

Thankfully we were right next to a McDonalds. Now, if you ever break down and have a bunch of kids with you, the best place to break down is next to a McDonalds. It the perfect place to let your kids go wild for a few hours while you sort your troubles out. And who can be grumpy downing an Oreo Blast?

As it turned out, my friend, Angela, was our hero and came to save us. Bless her! I cannot even count all the times she's bailed me out of like situations.

With Black Jack down, we were left to go to church this morning using the other cars: Wilma* & Mark's work car, since we can't fit everyone in either one alone. And even if we could all fit in Mark's car, it's too full of his work stuff to fit.

So we rearranged car seats and such, got everyone placed and buckled, went to pull out, and thunk-thunk.

...

Crap.

Wilma's front tire was completely flat.

Turns out it had a big slash in the tire that looks suspiciously like someone came along and, well, slashed it.

Guess that's what we get for leaving it on the street.

Blast.

And we would have been almost sorta on time.

*We name our vehicles. It's a tradition handed down from my family. Growing up I remember cars named Bugzy, Van-Goh, Babe the blue truck, the Puick, the "eep," Boris, and Natasha; with bikes including Silver Fox, Pink Panther, Bluebell, Lion, and a vacuum named Sebastian.

Black Jack came to us originally named Jack, because it was an Eddie Bauer edition. (Get it? Jack Bauer?) But when Andrea excitedly told her teacher about the new car, her enthusiasm confused the named and she called it Black Jack. We thought it was so cute of her that we'd let it stick.

Lacie-ism

Lacie: I'm going to put this binky over here with the other one so it won't be lonely.

Me: I don't think binkys get lonely.

Lacie: Yes. They do.

Yesterday at church we stayed late, waiting to see the Bishop. We hadn't made an appointment so we just had to wait until everyone who had made an appt was done. As we sat in the foyer we watched the 1st counselor and clerk walking around the building, coming and going several times. When at last they were ready to go home, they said 'good-bye' to us and headed out the doors. Lacie non-chalantly raised her head and called after them,

"Good-bye, you two."

Thanks for noticing

Me: Do you like my earrings?

Mark: Umm... Well, I've never seen you wear them.

Me: I've been wearing them all day. I just took them off.

Mark: Oh.

Me: So...?

Mark: Huh?

Me: Do you like them?

Mark: Like what?

Me: The earrings!

Mark: Oh, yeah. Where did you get them?

Me: Sam Moons. Why?

Mark: Yeah. They're nice.

a little later...

Me: Okay, now that I'm wearing them, do you like them?

Mark: What?

Me: MY EARRINGS! DO. YOU. LIKE. MY. EARRINGS?!

Mark: Sure. I guess. I mean, they're earrings. Ya know?

As I exit, disgruntled, Mark calls out, "You make them look good!"

Thanks.

My day

I changed upwards of 20 diapers today.

I made 3 trips to schools and spent $58 filling up the car on the way.

I grabbed a pizza because not only did I not make breakfast, I also did not make lunch nor dinner.

I ran the same 1 load of laundry through the washer for the 2nd time since I failed to move it over to the dryer before it started to mildew.

I got no dishes done.

I dodged probably 10 calls from a creditor I really don't want to talk to right now.

I sat on hold with my bank for the better part of an hour.

I helped Hyrum put together the same puzzle 4 times.

He put it together probably 8 times more.

I looked at Lacie's drawing in increments possibly 3000 times.

I watched Andrea do a "spin-kick" more times than I thought I could stand, but fewer than she wanted.

I used 3 different bottles to feed Jacob today to avoid having to wash one each time; weird that I managed to wash them each time anyway.

I only put the movie "Cars" on once today. Significantly less than usual.

I spent 1 1/2 hrs with my counselor and was interrupted every 5 minutes. (home visit)

I googled the following: lyrics to "Hush-a-bye;" travel hints & games for kids; who is Jeremy Priven?; the level of safety in regards to checks-by-phone; and, the Dragon Man's Military Museum.

I read 1 book to the girls.

I picked up a bazillion crayons. Likely the same hundred crayons over and over.

I allowed Hyrum 3 glasses of RootBeer.

I ate only 1 slice of pizza, but probably the majority of the breadsticks.

I watched the season finale of "The Good Wife" and half of "NCIS:LA" plus 2 re-runs of "Criminal Minds," all while attempting more than 18 times to get Jacob to STAY asleep.

I wrote 2 emails.

I yelled way too much.

I allowed the girls on the computer too long.

I put the wrong kid in time-out.

I never did do anything about Lacie hitting Andrea because I didn't know what to do.

I got into a "who loves who more" play-war with Lacie 3 times.

I talked to both girls' teachers.

I spent an hour trying to convince Jacob that laying on a colorful mat, staring at a blinking, singing star is fun. He didn't buy it.

I brushed my teeth once, but probably that will be all.

I didn't take a shower. I didn't take one yesterday. Or Sunday.

I replaced 1 lightbulb.

I'm about to go read a few chapters of the Book of Mormon.

I'm still trying to decide if I should feel accomplished or unproductive.

Do you ever...

Ever look around at the mess that is your house and feel so overwhelmed by it that all you can do is take a nap?

(Perhaps this is the reason the mess is so big?)

Or is it just me?

My apologies

I distinctly remember wondering as a child, why on Earth my mom would care if I was fighting with my siblings. I mean, it wasn't as if I was fighting with her. No screaming, name-calling, insult-hurling, and/or "accidental" hitting/kicking was directed at her, so why the big deal?

Sorry, Mom.

So, so sorry.

Location, location, location!

They teach you that when it comes to real estate the top selling or non-selling factor is LOCATION.

Maybe that's why we've stayed in Irving, and particularly, our neighborhood, so long. There are always exciting things happening on our street.

In the 8 years we've lived here there have been:

4 houses burned down (3 down the street, 1 right behind us);

1 house blow up (right across the street);

1 drug bust by the FBI (1 block down);

1 hostage situation where SWAT was called in and we were asked by the police to not leave the house due to the sharp-shooters on the roof-tops (2 blocks down);

1 burglar killed in a shoot-out with the cops (2 houses up);

1 car drive through a house (corner);

1 car smash through our neighbor's brick mailbox then land, flipped over, onto our driveway;

1 surprise visit over our back fence (while Mark was in the backyard) by fully-outfitted policemen chasing a running suspect;

multiple calls to the police to complain about the ever-annoying marijuana smoke drifting into our yard;

multiple calls to the police to complain about the Latin music blasting over the fence through the wee hours of the morn;

multiple calls to the police because the neighbors are passed out, drunk in their cars with the radio blasting;

and most recently -- the inspiration behind this post --

someone from the Attorney General's office knocking at our door to inquire as to the whereabouts of our neighbor who recently, and quite suspiciously, moved in the middle of the night.

Ahh, Irving, how we love thee.

Happy?

For Mother's Day I got a ticket-tape parade. Well, that is if you count a whole bunch of papers cut up into itsy-bitsy pieces then paraded through the house as ticket-tape, and cheering that sounds a whole lot more like mom yelling, then yes, I got my parade.

I talked to my sister on the phone last night around 10pm. She asked how my day had been. I replied that I was currently microwaving some Ramen noodles for my dinner after I'd just put my 9th batch of laundry in the washer.

...

She didn't press the issue.

Now before anyone starts sharpening the pitchforks and aiming them at Mark, I have to say this - it was WONDERFUL to be able to do 9 loads of laundry. Truly. Oh, and by the way, those 9 loads encompassed 2 sets of sheets and most of the kids' clothes. That's it. Yeah... laundry has been stacking up a wee bit. Why? Because our dryer kicked the bucket right as I was noticing I really needed to get some laundry done. 3 weeks ago. And since I'd rather go buy new clothes than do laundry anyway, I certainly did not find the motivation to haul everything to a laundromat. Or even my friend's house when offered.

Normally in this situation Mark would have just torn apart the dryer and fixed it. (And really, how many people can do THAT? He's amazing.) But, since we were planning to install a recently-acquired gas dryer, he figured he'd spend the energy on accomplishing that.

However,

that meant running a new gas line to the laundry room. Oh, and the laundry room is getting re-modeled, so that meant pouring a cement slab. And busting out walls and concrete. And before that, stuff had to be moved out of the garage. Into the shed that needed to be built. In the back yard that needed excavating.

You might say that those loads of laundry were a long time coming.

So anyway, Mark has been burning the midnight oil to get all this done. And though it still has a ways to go, I am grateful for the all-nighter he pulled Saturday to make sure I had a working dryer so I could do laundry for church. Even if we didn't end up going since I had a horrible night with the baby, the kids were feeling sick, and Mark was a walking zombie.

Happy Mother's Day!

Stupid clothes

Forget the "apple," "pear" or "hourglass" shapes, I need something to flatter my post-partum "Weeble-Wobble" shape.

I just spent a horrific night of trying on clothes at a store, and I've decided that there are absolutely no designers out there who have the compassion and/or imagination for designing mom clothes. I mean, is it really that hard to create an outfit that will camoflauge thunder thighs, hide the muffin-top, disguise back-fat, lift droopy boobs, create the illusion of a waistline, elongate the legs, and flatter the back-side? Really.

After one of my prior pregnancies I had the brilliant idea of just buying a corset. You know, squish me smaller. I looked into it and found them a little pricey -- around $80. My mom suggested that I just spend $80 on salad. Looking back, I don't think she meant for me to eat all $80 of salad at once.

In consolation, I do recall reading a very scientific article at the check-out line explaining how a lack of sleep and over-abundance of stress causes your body to crave sweets & fats. And why aliens only come out at night.