It's a...

BABY!
...
hmmmm. And a very uncooperative baby at that.
We went in yesterday for a peek at the little one via ultrasound. Everything looks good. Everything checks out. There is only one baby (sorry, Lacie). I'm even a week + 2 days further than I thought. That's nice!
But the only view we could get was of little one's hip bones.
Blast!
So the anticipation continues to build.
Hopefully we'll get another shot at it in a few more weeks.
Ah well,
at least he/she is modest? :)

ps,
for the record, the official due date is now March 12 - which, for me, translates to end of February. Yay!

I [heart] freebies

http://knotyourgrandmasguild.blogspot.com/2010/09/harvest-giveaway.html

especially when they're made by craftier people than I -- which is most people.

Check it out - or not... I guess technically the fewer the votes the higher the chance I have to win...
(Amy, I hope you didn't read that.)

kick me while I'm down

It's not enough that I feel nauseated 24/7.
Or physically cannot function most the day.
Or haven't been able to cook a decent meal in months.
Or spend more time at the toilet or sink than with my kids.

No, to truly appreciate the joys of pregnancy not only are you required to wretch at the drop of a hat, but you must also lose control over bodily functions and pee your pants while doing so.

(This is especially awesome when it happens in front of the daughter you're trying to potty-train.)

Prez

Andrea's depiction.
Pretty good, huh?
:)

which bug?

Lacie's teacher told me today that as she was walking Lacie outside, she said something to the effect of, "C'mon, little ladybug!"
Apparently Lacie indignantly replied, "I'm not a ladybug. I'm a Clifton Caterpillar!" (school mascot)
Funny, funny girl!

btw,

that last post was not meant to elicit feelings of pity or praise.
I just get angry when people act (or say things) as if there are no choices. True, sometimes all you get are crappy choices to pick from, but you still choose. And your choice determines your path. The path that ultimately you picked.
All anyone can do is pick the best that they can, and then hope for the best. Maybe it will pan out. Maybe not. Maybe it won't pan out for a long time. Who knows? Just don't forget to acknowledge where the responsibility lies. That's the fastest route to corruption, laziness and abuse.
Uh oh, did I just meander into the realm of politics?
:)

Don't call me lucky

I received a comment tonight that irked me at the time and is increasingly bothering me the more I think about it. I know - stop thinking about it, right? But where's the fun in that? haha
Anyway, I was at Lacie's school on PTA business (grumble, grumble) and was talking to one of the teachers at that school. I had told her I was 'expecting,' and after giving me all her excited congratulatory wishes she then said, "Now, this [pointing to my kids] is your job, though, right? You're a full-time mom?"
I nodded, "Yes."
"Wow," she replied. "You're so lucky."

Hmmm.
I'm going to go ahead and assume that she was just implying her approval over the awesomeness of being a mom.

...

I am lucky. Or rather, blessed. I've been blessed with a very good life in the greatest country, born into an LDS family, raised in the Gospel, had the best of friends, was given all sorts of incredible opportunities, and got to study at 3 universities. I got in a lot of "life experience" before meeting my soul mate, getting married in the temple and now having 3.5 kids.
Yes, I have been blessed.
Incredibly blessed.
Non-believers may choose to use the term "lucky." Fine.
BUT,
I'm not lucky because some magic fairy waved a wand and poofed me a wonderful life.
No magic conjured up the music experiences & opportunities I had growing up. No, no. That was came from years of blood, sweat and tears, baby.
No magic conjured up scholarships for me. I had to win those.
No magic conjured up a temple recommend for me. I had to earn that.
No magic conjured up my relationship with Mark. We put in 2 years of dating for it!
And no magic conjured up my kids. I have the stretch marks to prove that.

And no magic poofed me a carefree life where I could sit idly at home "not working" because we're lucky enough to be able to make it on one salary.

We CHOSE for me to stay home and we are paying the price for it.

It's a price we believe it is worth, but it is heavy just the same:

there is no luck in our shopping at thrift stores and clearance racks, and receiving hand-me-downs like it's Christmas morning;
there is no luck in our cramming 3 kids in the back of our car because we can't afford a van;
there is no luck in Mark driving an absolute beater car because, again, we can't afford another car;
there is no luck in us never having gone to Disneyland or even Six Flags because it's not in our budget;
there is no luck in us not seeing our families more often because we can't afford the airfare;
there is no luck in our not eating out at restaurants because it's not affordable;
there is no luck in Mark's out-dated wardrobe because he feels too guilty having money spent on him when there are so many other needs;
there is no luck in our taking 4 years at a 14.5% interest rate to "pay off Andrea" because we had no insurance when she was born;
there is no luck in having to tell our kids that we can't afford for them to be in dance, soccer and all the other fun things they see other kids doing;
there is no luck in battling feelings of guilt, helplessness, hopelessness, and utter dependency because I want to spend money but don't have it and can't just go earn it;
there is no luck in the loneliness from lack of adult-interaction;
there is no luck in our mountain of debt;
and there is no luck in having to swallow our pride to ask for assistance because my husband has been out of work for a year and a half and there is no money to buy food.

I get it. It's awesome that I stay home. Not everyone is able to even if they wanted to.
But I'll be danged if you tell me it's based on luck.

-ism

It will never stop cracking me up when Andrea asks me a question and then responds with something like,
"Yes! My my conclusion was correct! -- Back to the lab!"

Oh, what is going on in that little mind?

To be or not to be - smart?

Had an experience this morning that has me seriously questioning myself. I took a kid I don't know from Adam to school out of sheer pity for him that he missed the bus.
I didn't actually see him miss the bus, but he was wearing a backpack and walking in the school's general direction, coming from the bus stop just down the street from our house.
Why is that a big deal?
Because I am someone who takes security measures to a degree that could definitely be classified as over-the-top and/or paranoid.

For example:

You know all those email fwds about precautions women should take? Not only do I read and save every one, I take notes. And you know the ones describing specific attacks? I immediately "snopes" it for validity and then I check the local crime activity.

I'm constantly on watchdog.org looking for any new sex offenders in the neighborhood and reviewing ones I already know about. (I used to print out their pictures and keep it by the door)

I don't use my mailbox for outgoing mail because I don't want anyone (including the postman) to see what kind of correspondence I keep.

I always keep my doors locked during the day and WILL NOT open the door to anyone I don't know and/or am not expecting. I don't care if it is just a kid.

And if it's a cop, I write his badge number down and then call the police station to confirm why he's there.

I drive different routes to drop off / pick up my kids from school just to "throw off" anyone who might be watching my daily routine.

After shopping w/ my kids and I reach my car still using a shopping cart, I refuse to take the time to return it if the kids are already in the car. (Okay, I know that's not such a biggie, but I do have guilt over it.)

I always cover the number pad with my free hand while keying in my PIN number at gas stations. Always.

If I ever do have to enter the store at the gas station (which I try very hard to avoid), I always first analyze the cars parked out in front. If there's ever a big van I won't go in.

I never eat with my back to a window or a door.

Blinds must be shut at night in the "up" direction, because you can actually see inside a bit if they're shut "downwards."

All windows must be covered at night. Period. No exceptions. And if I'm at someone else's house and it's not done, I'll do it for them.

I am the world's fastest ATM user. And I always make sure to look right in the camera so if something should happen at least they know it's me.

I won't talk on a cell phone while walking around. I must always be alert and aware of my surroundings.

I will not give out any account info over the phone to anyone unless I'm the one who initiated the call. Seriously. If they call me for whatever reason, I ask for their number so I can hang up and then call them back.

If, at the park or the store or wherever, someone makes a comment to me about my kid for seemingly no reason, I give them a suspicious look and then leave.

I am always suspicious at parks of men with no kids or dogs.

I am continually "checking my memory" of random license plate numbers to see if I could recall it if needed.
And the list goes on and on.
And on.

Am I crazy?
Maybe. I don't know.
Point being, there are lots and lots of ways to be protected or not protected. And this morning as I took the kid to school, I thought about a recent email fwd talking about all the clever ways bad guys stake out homes to rob later. Suddenly I was very slow to tell him my name or any other trivial small talk info that would give him any insight at all into my family - my kids, if they go to school, if I'm originally from Texas, how well I know the area, if I work, what my husband does, etc., etc.
Yeah, that was an awkward ride.
So, then, I guess the REAL point of this is a question -
when is it okay to put enough trust in humanity to do a good deed for a stranger?
or is it ever okay?
Because as soon as you do, you are making yourself vulnerable.
What a sad thought.

Wondering...

... why is it that in every movie with a labor/birthing scene the poor woman is always screaming in agony as she pushes the baby out? How come they never seem to opt for an epidural? I mean, I know there are some freaks... I mean... very strong women who prefer to do it "naturally," but come on! Every character in every show? Please. They need to get some better movie-doctors.

Showing her work

I looked in Andrea's bag today after picking her up from school.
This is one of the pictures I found:



I asked her to tell me about it. She said it was a picture of Lacie trying to take a stick away from her. And a dinosaur.

Naturally.

I just love the use of punctuation.

Murderous Thoughts

I am a bad person.
Really.
I think about killing old men.
Well, just one old man in particular.
But still.
I have fantasies of running him down in my car. So much so that I literally have to take a different route to Lacie's school just to avoid the temptation.
It's not good.

And yet...
in my defense,
this man does happen to be the most power-mongering, whistle-loving control-freak ever to wield a STOP sign.
I mean, really.
When someone has been sitting in the same place for 25 mins, waiting her "turn" to inch just that much closer to being able to actually cross the intersection, just to get in line down the street from the corner where you turn into the parking lot you have to snake through before being able to one-by-one pull up to the doors so a teacher can deposit your child in the car - !! -
[breathe]
I would HIGHLY recommend AGAINST marching up to the driver's window and blowing a screeching whistle in their face, while insisting that she back up 4 inches 'behind the white lines' of the pedestrian-free crosswalk.

I'm just sayin'.