WANTED:

1 Magic Wand

Must work on laundry, dishes and bathrooms. Needs to include behavior modification settings for ages infant-adult. Hair versatility isn't necessary, though desirable, but weight management is a definite must.
Looking for the model that includes the menu planning, bill paying, errand running, and dinner making options with a built-in food storage rotation as well as missionary and compassionate service meals schedule. Lesson planning for Visiting Teaching and FHE is a bonus. Would like the automated Thank You and Birthday card mailing service with added Facebook and Blog status updates.
Needs to be able to transform frumpy wardrobe into moviestar glam, remove stretch marks and cellulite, make botox and boob lifts unnecessary, and vanish all signs of aging including but not limited to yellowing teeth, wrinkles, sun spots, and saggy skin. Should be able to eliminate all dirt/dust from the house and keep any and all toys confined to one small area. Garbage duty and lawn mowing must never be an issue, and babysitting on demand is a must.
And since this is a magic wand we're talking about, could I also get my mortgage and debt paid off?