They say that confessing is good for the soul. They never say what it does for relationships... Oh well. I figured I'm on a roll and may as well go ahead and clear my conscience.
* When talking on the phone, I hide in the pantry closet so the kids can't find me.
* On the corner of our street there is a Taco Bell, then a field, then the houses start; we're the third house. Some nights when my dinner is especially awful I sneak up to Taco Bell and get their $2 meal deals even after enforcing our "Eat it or Starve" policy to the kids.
* I always drive to Taco Bell.
* I may have "accidentally" once or twice left the cell phone home when going to the store, and then found myself unable to call Mark and consult him on a purchase.
* If I've bought junk food while running errands I try to throw away any evidence in gas station garbage cans before I get home.
* I like eating cookie dough more than cookies because 1) it's awesome, and 2) with cookies, there is always a running count of how many you've eaten. With cookie dough, on the other hand, there's no way to know. I mean, who's to say that huge blob isn't how much goes into one cookie before it gets baked?
* I hate the act of swallowing pills. Sometimes I will walk past and look at my vitamins 12X and still not take them.
* I secretly hope that my 'double' in the play I'm in isn't as good as I am.
* I'm fairly certain that I could grease a car with the oil slick from my hair right now.
* At Stake Conference we were apparently sitting in the 'Cry Zone' and far enough back that I could barely hear the speaker... so instead of straining to listen I took Jake out to the hall to play with him. Ironically, I could hear better out there.
* I rarely read the 'fine print.'
* I turn the fan on in the bathroom to drown out whatever it is that my kids are trying to tell me through the door.
* More than once I've let the same movie play 3 times in a row because it kept the kids occupied and I could keep napping.
* I will only answer the phone (landline) if I know the phone number or I hear the separate ringtone I can assign to 30 programmable numbers. Even then, it's still 50/50 whether I'll bother.
* I have let the girls skip school because I was too tired to get up and get them there.
* I have done that (see above) more than once. In the same week.
* I make Hyrum give me kisses because he's still little enough that I CAN make him.
* There was a time before Hollywood Videos shut down that I couldn't find a single movie in there that I hadn't seen that wasn't porn, horror or rated R.
* Yesterday I fed my kid a chocolate doughnut for breakfast to keep him from squealing on me.
5 comments:
I love you Net! If it makes you feel any better I can relate to many of the above confessions.
As for hiding in the closet while on the phone- if it's me you're talking to, you'd darn well better! Those kids get your attention every day! I only get to talk to you so often... seems only fair.
As for Taco Bell- hahahaha, that's just the grande parental priveledge of ye olde double standard!
As for driving to Taco Bell- it's much better that way. If you walked, you would at first think you were at least burning off some of the calories, then realize it's more like 5, then you'd think about how many that leaves... and that just takes all the fun out of Taco Bell. Trust me, always drive to Taco Bell.
As for 'accidentally' leaving the phone home- he's probably done the same thing when going to the hardware store or something.
And as for cookie dough? I have long since stopped even pretending that I was making cookies if I made cookie dough. It's wayyyyy better, so why not call it what is? 'hey, we should make cookie dough for dessert'
As for hoping you're better than your double- I'm sure you are. (and if not, I hope they fall off the roof j/k)
As for oil in hair- I like to tell myself that oil is GOOD for your hair and leaving it unwashed for few straight days is almost the equivalent of a hot oil treatment. So diligent of you to make that kind of sacrifice for the health of your hair... and you're saving money! Good for you :)
As for 3 pm- try hiding in the closet? haha
As for fine print- trust me, working in Contracting, I can tell you you're in good company here, almost nobody reads the fine print unless they're being paid to.
As for making Hyrum give you kisses- who could blame you? At least you don't make him call you 'Mommy Dearest' or something...
And shame on Hollywood video for having an inadequate selection for a film connoisseur such as yourself! It would be dreadful for you to have to resort to porn.
As for the donut for breakfast- relish the days when their silence comes that cheap! ;)
I wish my sister hid in her pantry when we talked. Her kids love to cry and fight the moment she gets on the phone. Makes for short conversations. Sigh.
If Nathan and I get a goody at the grocery store while Esther is at school, I try to get him to keep it a secret. He never does.
Hee hee! :) Hey, what play are you in? and where & when? I will be wishing we can come... sigh.
HIding in the closet=good idea. can't wait til i don't fear for my children's lives if i am out of the room more than 30 sec-1 min. Oi.
Ok, now i confess i am reading your blog instead of getting Ella up from her nap...gotta go i guess.
P.S. Thanks VERY much for commenting on my blog--almost no one does anymore, ha! :)
Hee hee! :) Hey, what play are you in? and where & when? I will be wishing we can come... sigh.
HIding in the closet=good idea. can't wait til i don't fear for my children's lives if i am out of the room more than 30 sec-1 min. Oi.
Ok, now i confess i am reading your blog instead of getting Ella up from her nap...gotta go i guess.
P.S. Thanks VERY much for commenting on my blog--almost no one does anymore, ha! :)
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