Career Paths

Over the years as I've watched my kids grow in and out of different stages, I've often thought about the different abilities and talents they display and how that could translate into a career later in life.

When Andrea was just tiny, she loved the movie Snow White. During the scene where Snow White runs through the forest Andrea would jump up and run around the house, imitating the movie. Then she'd fall into a heap on the floor, bury her head and fake sob all dramatic-like. Later she translated that into her every-day life -- when she got in trouble, for instance. Thus, the first career I was sure she'd have was that of an actress. Lacie, on the other hand, was becoming quite the swiper. (Andrea was often overheard calling out the phrase from Dora, the Explorer, "Swiper, no swiping!") And so it was that we determined Lacie's calling in life -- a pick-pocket.

When Hyrum came along he was the happiest, smiliest baby EVER. It was unreal. At 2 weeks old the kid was laughing out loud in his sleep! I have witnesses! Anyway, we figured he'd grow up to make a great professional Santa Claus. Meanwhile, Andrea was displaying signs of becoming a Rocket Scientist, and Lacie was shaping up to be quite the little con artist.

It took Hyrum until he was 13.5 months before he started crawling, and around 20-21 months before walking. So we knew he'd never be an Olympic athlete, but with his size he was shaping up to be quite the candidate for a football linebacker. Andrea was becoming a serious insect expert and novelist, and Lacie was refining her skills as a thief.

Nowadays, Andrea is quite the fashion designer -- sewing together paper towels, cutting up Barbie clothes for scrap materials and fashioning plastic garbage bags into "creature power suits." Hyrum loves placing his toy pals in precarious situations so that he may either save them or watch them fall to their deaths. I figure he'll make a good director some day. And Lacie? Sweet Lacie. I have no doubt some day we'll all hear her name on the nightly news -- as the most wanted white-collar crimes fugitive in the books.

we just have a wealth of 'em today

Me: "What time are you leaving?"

Mark: "Nine (9:00pm)."

~later~

Me: "Why are you leaving 45 mins ahead of time?"

Mark: "We're not. Stu is picking up Eddie at 9:15, and then swinging by to get me."

Me: "But you said you were leaving at 9:00."

Mark: "I just said that because because 9 is a rough number."

joining the 'isms' ranks

I guess Hyrum is destined to give me good material like his sisters. Lacie had fallen asleep at the kitchen table on a chair and was "out" a couple hours. She awoke when Andrea dropped a stapler on her foot and started (justifiably) crying out in pain.

As Lacie's head drowsily rose up above the table, Hyrum started running around yelling,

"Lacie's alive! Lacie's alive!"

Logic

Andrea: "What kind of food do hornets eat?"

Me: "Let's look it up ... nectar and other sugary solutions."

Andrea: "Okay, I have a new idea. Do hornets drink water?"

Me: "Probably."

Andrea: "Okay. Then we can put some water in the bottom of a bag..."

Me: "You're going to keep a hornet in a bag?"

Andrea: "Or a box."

Me: "But hornets like to fly."

Andrea: "It could be a big box. A big clear box, and we'll put it outside so it can have sunlight."

Me: "Andrea, would YOU like to live in a box?"

Andrea: "No. But I'm not a hornet."

Thieving Monkeys

I am going to go CRAZY!

Somehow my girls think it is perfectly acceptable to not only swipe whatever thing they find to their fancy, but bring it to bed with them as well.

On a regular basis we have to dump the contents of Lacie's pillowcase when the bulging lumps look a little too suspicious. We find such things as dolls, books, clothes, the soap dish, dvd cases, toast from breakfast, pens and pencils, and any toy she is currently hiding from her siblings.

Yesterday I showed up to a bridal shower a day early since the girls had stolen the invitation because of the pretty paper.

Tonight I removed from Andrea's bed the ottoman to my rocker and a piece of luggage - the size suitcase you carry-on on a plane.

I mean, really?!

Not to mention all the times they've swiped our keys, my purse, Jacob's blankets, the broom, my jewelry, the potato peeler, family calendar, Mark's hair brush, sheet music, fingernail polish, toothpicks, any sort of toy, and pretty much any other random thing you would not expect.

Seriously, what do I do with that?