MamaDrama

For you, Tess

2012-01-30T14:30:00.006-06:00

I was kindly reminded that I don't post much about my littlest buddy, Jake. Oops!

Look at those baby blues!

Looking all smart in his new suit --

"Let me outta here!" (staying waaaayyy late after church)

I love this shot--

In Rosalie fashion...

Oh, I love me my Jacob! He is such an ANGEL BABY. No joke. I take him to play practice with me. You'd think that would be a total hinderance, what with me rehearsing and costuming and playing my violin. For FOUR HOURS! Plus the 1-hour drive each way! You'd think it'd be an absolute nightmare. Nope. This kid is a complete joy. The only noises I hear from him are the happy squealing and laughing he makes as the rest of the cast goes ga-ga over him. Incredible, I tell you!

Cooking

2012-01-26T23:20:00.002-06:00

Question: what do you do when your kitchen looks like this?

Answer: well.... most people would probably clean it. Me? Nah. Let's just make some more mess!

Today I decided to play with some whole wheat recipes:

Tried-&-true bread:

Whole-wheat brownies that, oddly, had no chocolate/cocoa in them except the choc. chips I opted to sprinkle on top. Weird, but tasty!

Half white/half whole-wheat breadsticks. Tastes fine. It lacks a little in the presentation...

Oh, and here's a random shot for you - wanna guess what it is?

Scout camp-out dinner, of course! Mark has lofty goals of getting the verrry urban boys in our ward un-citified. Yeah. Like I said, it's a lofty goal. But he sure tries! On his last scout camp-out he brought 2 live roosters with them. Why? Look back at that picture. Oh yes. He made the boys kill, pluck and cook their dinner. Personally, I think he let them off easy by cleaning & cutting them himself. But then, he had to eat it, too. So maybe that was just a smart move on his part? But it didn't stop there. Later on he boiled down the carcass and rolled out from-scratch noodles, to make a delicious chicken noodle soup. Impressive!

Here's the best part: rather than chopping their heads or wringing their necks, they SHOT the roosters. One bullet to the back of the head, execution style. You can take a boy out of the city, but...

Another illustration

2012-01-20T16:41:00.002-06:00

Here is Lacie:

Here are the contents of her pocket (shown in her hand):

"What pocket?" you ask, and that is a very good question.

If you look closely, you can see a tiny little square of a pocket just under her collar.

Again, the contents of her pocket:

Hmmmmm.

I asked her why she had a pencil that couldn't write and with no eraser on it. She replied that she was using it as her magic wand. The little rock was something she wanted to bring home to show me.

Naturally.

Lacie-ism

2012-01-17T16:04:00.002-06:00

This is what I pulled out of Lacie's pocket:

a couple hair clips,

some yarn,

a metal flower,

Chuck E. Cheese coin,

a wood splinter,

cracker crumbs,

a sticker that fell off some crazy glasses (X-Ray Vision),

a magnet,

and paper scraps.

Yup. That about sums her up! :)

Andrea-isms

2012-01-16T00:58:00.003-06:00

At dinner a couple nights ago Andrea asked out of the blue,

"Mom? How do you think you would feel if, before you got married to Dad, a guy with no legs, but could fly, came and took Dad and hid him somewhere?"

uh...

I think my response right now is the same that I gave her:

"Wait... what?"

The next day the kids were looking at the pictures for my screen saver (I have it set up to just randomly cycle through my iPhotos). One came up of Mark and me at our wedding reception. Andrea saw it and asked incredulously,

"Mom?! You were at Dad's wedding?!"

Again,

uh...

Games

2012-01-14T06:11:00.001-06:00

I don't like Hyrum's newest game. It's a ramming game. I think it's called "run-into-the-back-of-mom-while-she's-standing-at-the-kitchen-sink." Over and over and over. And then again some more.

NOT my favorite.

I don't like Jacob's newest game. I'd like it even less if he had teeth, so at least I'm glad for that. It's where he opens his mouth as wide as possible and then attacks. As in, face-plant to the nearest extremity of your body.

It leaves you slimy and smelling like saliva.

My latest game is a spin on the classic 'Keep Away.' Only, I'm sweeping the floor and madly trying to push my dirt pile around the kitchen in-time and out-of-reach of Jacob, while frantically looking for the dust pan which I cannot find so I end up just sweeping everything into the pantry and slamming the door before Jake can crawl in.

Come to think of it, I don't like this game much either.

As long as we're on the topic of games, I just finished the Hunger Games series. "Just finished" as in I started book 1 Tuesday afternoon and finished book 3 some time around 4:00 Thursday morning.

[Yes, I am quite useless while I'm reading a book -- because if I'm going to read something it had better keep my attention. And if it keeps my attention, well, I'm not so good at multi-tasking and even worse at self-control.]

Anyhow.

I am sorry I read it. It's left me with a dark, sad feeling. And I'm confused, because I've heard soooo many people absolutely RAVE about the books. Okay, so obviously I was "into" the books to be able to consume them so quickly. But as I tried explaining to Mark, it was like watching a particularly horrific accident, and not being able to tear my eyes away because I had just enough hope that by some magic or miracle things would end happily ever after. But then they didn't. They just got worse and worse and worse and then a little better and then worse.

Kinda like the book equivalent of the movie, "Million Dollar Baby."

Personally, I'm not one for sad or sobering endings when it comes to entertainment. I think we have enough of that in the world already.

Lacie-ism

2012-01-13T16:30:00.001-06:00

Me: "Don't step on Jacob. If you have to walk around, do it. If there's no room then step on me. Just don't step on him, okay?"

Lacie: "Yeah. Because he's cuter."

Random

2012-01-13T15:56:00.001-06:00

My kids are all in the kitchen right now playing Play-Doh and singing the "Gloria" chorus to "Angels We Have Heard on High." They're in different keys, at different parts of the music.

It sounds like a bunch of hooting owls dying.

Bad Mom

2012-01-13T08:15:00.003-06:00

I yelled at my kid this morning.

Yelled doesn't actually begin to cover it.

Total dress down.

And I'm good at that. Just ask Mark.

I was debate Queen in high school and I have the awards and titles to prove it.

And I ripped apart my 7 year old.

I could explain why I was upset; how she pushed me over the edge and 'had it coming.'

Doesn't matter.

I feel like crap.

A few General Conferences ago one of the apostles talked about yelling in the home. He said that as soon as you yell or shout the Holy Spirit leaves.

I think about that every time that I yell.

Every. single. time.

Did I mention I feel like crap?

Christmas!

2012-01-11T22:29:00.000-06:00

Yes, this is after-the-fact. And it's more for documentary purposes than reading entertainment. Sorry.

Christmas was swell. Pretty dang happy about that, too. Especially since last year was a bit tarnished by the stomach flu we passed around, and I totally feared we'd repeat that scene again since I spent most of the week leading up to Christmas in bed. With the flu.

Happily it went away and we went to Houston! Yay! We were able to be with the Nick & Lexye Thiele family and it was truly lovely. We got there later than we'd hoped (Christmas Eve evening), and Lex was plenty busy with a newborn, so it was pretty was low-key, and yet fun, entertaining, and man! the food was GOOD! Can I just say that Lex & Nick truly understand the value of snack food and treats? Mmmmm.

Now for the documentation:

Kids waiting so very patiently (yeah, right) Christmas morning, and both dads heroically helping out:

(note that Mark is holding his iPad? yes, well, we call it his "Precious" for a reason!)

Santa-gifts are always left out, unwrapped and put-together. I seem to recall that's how it was growing up, but Lexye didn't remember it that way. Hmmm. I also figure it helps that they can immediately play with the toys and you don't have to spend your morning assembling everything. As an added bonus, if you don't actually have the boxes for the toys b/c you bought them second hand, no one is ever the wiser! ...well, unless you announce it on your blog, that is.

I'd like to mention and especially thank Angela and Sara Newman for the donation of the 14 Barbie dolls + clothes & accessories!! Santa's budget was meager this year (is there anyone NOT suffering from this economy?!), but thanks to Sara's outgrowing her Barbie collection at a very (generously) convenient time for us, and a fortuitous steal of a deal on Craigslist back in August, our kids never had a clue. The magic of Santa lives on! Plus, I had a grand time fixing up hair, dressing dolls and posing the ensemble for the display :) THANK YOU!

Mark & Hyrum putting together the "Mystery Machine" from Scooby-Doo.

Lex tried to not let me get a pic of her--

she held Kate up to "intervene." It just made for a weird pic.

Happy boys!

Total success!

...except for the "nice" picture in Sunday attire...

Thank you, Thieles! and Merry Christmas, everyone!

UPDATE!!

2012-01-04T23:11:00.013-06:00

Ready for a super-dee-duper-ly long post? Cause here it comes!

**people reading this on email, I truly apologize if this crashes your email or something of that nature. it's long. with tons of pictures. and did I mention it was long? it is. if you can't view it, you can always go to the web address:

http://viehwegs.blogspot.com

I took a bit of a hiatus from blogging. Not sure why except I've been busy, sick, overwhelmed, stressed, traveling, and the usual crazy. Well, that and I'm generally speaking lazy whenever I can get away with it.

Anyhoo.

Here's a nice long recap since... October. Oy.

We went with some friends to the Dallas Arboretum to see the pumpkin display

and get faces painted:

Butterfly 1

Butterfly 2

Pirate mate-y!

Puppy dog

Tiger 1

Tiger 2 (my favorite shot of the day)

Yay for the Pumpkin Patch --- that they weren't actually supposed to be getting into... oops.

On the way back to our car we found O.J. Simpson's missing glove.

RANDOM ALERT:

ever wonder why your kid's backpack is so full?

I have strange children.

For Halloween Lacie enjoyed dressing up,

Hyrum was possibly the cutest cowboy ever,

Andrea loved getting into character - even if she hadn't actually ever seen the Hunchback of Notre Dame (she's Esmerelda),

fun, fun!

We went to the ECI Fall Festival. Ironic that for a group of kids who probably the majority of them suffer with sensory issues, the organization of therapists puts on a party where it was crazy loud, jam-packed, with lots of sugary food and a ridiculous amount of activities going on all at once. Hmmmm...

Hyrum & Lacie danced,

Hyrum fell,

and was soon-afterwards "done."

Jacob is cute!!

Hyrum still puts things up his nose and occasionally can't get them out without assistance.

Then he had a birthday (#3).

Jake had a great time.

Hyrum loved his cake.

Can you blame him?! (Wal-Mart made it)

Soon afterwards, Lacie had a birthday (#6).

Wal-mart did not make this cake. And yes, you're counting correctly - Lacie put 8 candles on her cake. Kindergarten is going well.

I tried to get fancy with what little hair she has.

We love our princess!

Then Mark made a giraffe out of pennies.

Hyrum got hurt

Lacie got sick

I'm trying to learn to do hair.

Jacob looks darling in his hat!

So does Hyrum.

Hyrum is just a cute kid,

dinosaur,

pirate,

as Buzz Lightyear,

or with a diaper on his head.

Notice Jake holding Dinosaur Hyrum's tail? Yes, he's learning to defend himself.

Here is our blockade to keep him out of the kitchen:

Proof that some times I can be a cool, fun mom:

Our pretty Christmas tree that Mark scored for free last January!

Aww...

Oh yes, and Jake can now pull himself up to standing position and shimmy along boxes and furniture like a pro. (10 months old) I think that happened when I blinked.

Relevant Math

2011-12-30T14:36:00.003-06:00

if A is crafting, and B is nighttime, and C is memory loss, then:

AB = C

AND,

if D is crawling, curious baby, and E is disaster, and F is cleaning (house & kid), and G is work for me, then:

D = G

E = G

F = G

D = E = F = G

ALSO,

AB + D = E

and

AB + D = F

C + D = G

in Addition

2011-12-30T13:52:00.000-06:00

A can be substituted with H, which is food.

B can be substituted for I, which is any time of day.

And if E occurs after F, then it is G-squared.

Hyrum-ism

2011-12-22T14:18:00.000-06:00

"Mommy, my diaper burped!"

Being Mom

2011-12-15T18:47:00.003-06:00

Tonight I gave the ultimate "Christmas is NOT about YOU!" lecture to the girls. It was classic. Starting with dragging the crying kids from the store into the car, it included finger-wagging and ended with the threat of coal and/or canceling Christmas.

Awesome.

And even though I'm fairly certain I threaten to call the Big Man and tell him to pass us by each year, this year was different. This year I had hopes -- maybe even expectations? -- of having a delightful, loving Christmas where the kids happily pick out presents for each other (new this year) and are excited to bring joy to their siblings.

This is what I pictured:

This is what I got:

Granted, any other time of the year I would never be so foolish as to attempt to go to a TOY store WITH children and expect them to NOT pick out everything on the shelves for themselves and then try to get me to swear a blood oath that I WILL purchase the item for them if not in front of them at that precise moment then at some other time THAT evening and then collapse into a fit of disappointment, despair and fury when I finally have had enough and demand we leave the store RIGHT NOW...

Ahh, don't you love the holidays?

In other news,

I found this pic and cannot stop laughing about it:

See? it IS important!

2011-11-20T17:24:00.001-06:00

Lacie-ism

2011-11-14T16:12:00.001-06:00

I know my Lacie loves me. How do I know? Because today while playing blocks together she told me this:

"Mom, even if you go to jail, I'll go with you. I'll go with you to jail because I love you."

(not sure why she thinks I'd be ending up in the slammer...)

Hyrum doesn't like baths

2011-11-14T10:43:00.000-06:00

Haha. I needed a laugh today. This worked.

on Bullies

2011-11-12T16:49:00.002-06:00

by Andrea

"Did you know that bullies LIKE it when you're mad? Actually they love it. They want you to be mad. 'Cause they think it's fun. And they love it. I think they even love it more than they love cake."

Andrea

2011-11-12T11:41:00.001-06:00

Recently (as in September 19th), our firstborn had a birthday - her 7th birthday!!

Ho-ly cow! How is it possible that this much time has flown by?!

Yet, if you were to look at her, you'd think the kid was about 9 or 10. She is tall, strong and beautiful. And she is mentally as mature (or more) as she is physically. I just had a parent-teacher conference with her 1st grade teacher yesterday. The teacher told me that she leaves Andrea in charge of running the math-time projector presentation when she has to leave the room. Uhh.... wow?

She is constantly coming up with creative ideas and projects, amazing us on a regular basis. For instance, her "UP" cards:

Of course, she had to make the accompanying tutorial:

in case you can't read it, it says:

How to make a UP balloon card

1. Get a small card and cut it in a shape of a house

2. color

3. punch out a hole at the top

4. stick 4 or less balloons in there

As luck would have it, it was Andrea's turn for her classroom spotlight the same week as her birthday. This is when the parents send in a few pics of their kid and the teacher arranges it as a display on the wall. It's such a fun thing for the kids and the timing of it made it extra special for her. On top of it all, one of the days that week was "Bring Dad to School Day." Mark spent half the day with Lacie, then the other half with Andrea. She was thrilled to be able to show him the display all about her, hanging in the classroom.

These are the pics I sent in:

ANDREA!

Loves tea parties.

Is a GREAT older sister.

Loves all things Kung-Fu!

Is a Spider-Monkey!

Self-taught Seamstress

Love her family:

Dad, Mom, 2 girls, 2 boys

***Here's something I didn't include --

it's a letter I found that she had written to Lacie, encouraging her on her recent potty-training success:

it says:

Dear Lacie,

YOU ARE ASOME!

Good job going potty.

Love Andrea

(plus an illustration labeled 'toilet')

What an amazing girl! We are so proud of her, and so so so happy to have her in our family! Yay for Andrea! We love you!

Seriously? Again?!

2011-11-03T23:40:00.002-05:00

This is the song that never ends... yes it continues on my friends.

Okay, I was going to try to think up some clever little wording for the rest of the song, but it's late and I'm spent and really I just want to vent.

This morning Lacie woke me up and let me know that she had removed all the tangles from her hair. By herself. With scissors.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'll post pics tomorrow.)

Let's talk efficiency

2011-11-02T20:13:00.002-05:00

I like to be efficient. I think it's cool. I'm actually a bit of a nerd about it. Groceries is a biggie - there IS a way you should bag them. Most people don't know/do it. And if the checker is going to bag for you, there is an order in how you put your groceries up on the counter that gives you the best chance of your checker bagging your groceries correctly, out of dumb luck on their part but major planning on yours. I especially love getting that little thrill that comes when I organize my shopping cart just-so at Sam's Club or Costco, and then the checker is baffled by how I got it all in. Going on a trip? Leave the packing to me - especially the trunk of the car. Organizing a closet? My specialty.

Apparently I did not pass this gene on to my kids.

I changed 8 poopy diapers today.

Eight.

From 2 kids.

And it wasn't even split evenly.

Did I mention that I like efficiency?

Jacob

2011-10-22T09:04:00.006-05:00

So after a few reminders, I realized I really haven't posted about my little angel baby much at all. What's that saying? The squeaky wheel gets the oil? Well, he is definitely not the squeaky wheel in our house. Although, I think he is starting to catch on...

Jacob truly is an angel baby.

I call him my "reward" baby :) From the get-go he has been mild-mannered and totally easy-going. Even now, I can leave him in his baby carrier for the duration of nursery (for his protection), and he is happy as a clam just watching all the activity going on.

He loves watching animated conversation. When it turns to him, he gets so excited he kicks his little legs and rewards you with all sorts of smiles and coos. He'll happily 'go' to anyone who wants to hold him - although, I think he is getting a bit more aware now when Mom isn't around. Still, though, he's amazing.

He has quite a healthy appetite. He loves sweet potatoes. He tolerates squash & other mixed veggies. Loves peaches, pears, applesauce. HATES bananas and peas. Lately his sleep (and mine) has been suffering for want of more food. I figure it's a on-going growth spurt. And with how easy he is to put to sleep, I have no complaints. He is a lot like Hyrum in that respect. He didn't like being swaddled for the first 4 or 5 months, but now he does. Wrap him up, stick a binky in his mouth and he is good to go!

He absolutely loves baths. He loves the water, and he loves to kick! Afterwards he loves getting all wrapped up and cuddling. So fun.

At 7 months he is just about ready to officially crawl. Right now he is pretty adept at scooting and rolling to his desired location. But as far as the real crawling goes, he can get on his knees and hands for only a little bit before he faceplants to the floor. It's actually pretty funny to watch. (Sorry I have no picture of it - WISH that I did!)

He is definitely not as stocky as Hyrum was, but he's sure growing like a weed. Long and lean.

(next to his second cousin, Kate South)

Mostly though, this kid is just a joy. He's happy, smiley, loves to engage, loves to be with people. He is WONDERFUL!

We love baby Jake!

I Dig it, Man!

2011-10-20T22:49:00.002-05:00

Cool! Mark just called in to the Dennis Miller show. It's a talk-radio show he loves listening to because the host is so funny. He's very intelligent, mostly leans the same way Mark does politically, but has a vocabulary that comes straight from the '60s-'70s. It's fun. And Mark loves him.

So when he (Dennis Miller) started talking about his neighbor getting a new dog and how obnoxious it is that the dog barks all night and then asked for caller suggestions... Well, Mark HAD to call in.

And maybe it's not that big of a deal, but my experience is that it's actually kinda hard to 'get in' when calling up radio shows. Maybe it's just me.

Regardless, it was exciting and fun for Mark (and therefore me). Plus he got to relay his idea of slitting open a hot dog, stuffing in 2 or 3 Tylenol PMs, and tossing it over the fence. Dog is out in under 10 minutes flat. Dennis Miller's reaction: "Ladies and Gentlemen, there is one ingenious cat. I dig it, man!"

Made Mark's night. :)

Lame

2011-10-18T17:28:00.002-05:00

Last week I gave a random driver a good show. I was in the Elementary school's front parking lot when Hyrum decided to bolt into the street. Of course a car had to be coming right as he did this. Naturally I reached out for him, but being on the curb and in shoes I don't normally wear, I slipped, twisted my ankle and literally fell down into the street. Think spread-eagle, but laying on my back. Oh yeah, and I pulled Hyrum down on top of me. Ouch.

To the driver's credit, he had apparently seen Hyrum heading towards the street and had moved to the other side [of the street]. Then he slowed to a stop after witnessing my dramatic spill. I waved, acknowledging to him that I was okay, and please-don't-come-over-here-to-my-further-embarrassment.

And yes, it hurt. Like crazy.

Fast forward one week:

This morning I was walking the girls up to their school for morning drop-off. We waited at the crosswalk for the crossing guard to stop traffic and signal for us to come across. Once she signaled, we walked about half-way so we were in full view of all the stopped cars, the crossing guard, the safety patrol kids and teachers at the school, and any other parent/student crossing or just having crossed. Yes, friends, I chose this perfect moment to once again twist my ankle and dramatically tumble to the ground. Or rather, road.

So, so awesome!

I think next time I go to that school I will take advantage of the Halloween season and wear a mask, just in case.

Big Night!

2011-10-13T21:59:00.002-05:00

Soooo...

cutting hair seems to be a common... problem?... in our house. The other day Andrea was getting fed up with the hair in her eyes and finally couldn't take it any more. Naturally, she cut it out of the way. Of course! She's my kid, right? [roll eyes here]

It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't RIGHT in the front. And a part in the back.

And oh yeah, tomorrow is picture day. Yay!

In a panic, Andrea asked me to "fix" her hair so she'd look pretty tomorrow. Now, believe it or not, I have actually learned my lesson (mostly) about cutting hair and to not to. Feeling responsible, I took her to a salon to get it done.

...

It came out a bit shorter than I had anticipated.

Andrea tried to keep it together and even politely thanked the lady for the hair cut, but then outside the store told me she felt like a boy and that her stomach had 'the kind of pain that makes you feel sick and like you're going to throw-up.' Great.

KEENLY aware of how much a major haircut can devastate you, I told her we'd get her some cute headbands and clips,

AND

on impulse, that she could get her ears pierced.

Mind you, she has been BEGGING for this for a good 6 months now. I had always told her she could have it done when she turned 8. Not because I think it's that big of a deal, but I want her to be responsible for taking care of her ears on her own, and if you are old enough to decide whether or not to get baptized, I think you're plenty old enough to take care of your ears.

But it's not like she's not already mature enough now. Trust me, the kid is years beyond her age. And again, with the whole haircut thing.

So, we did it!

She picked out some cute rainbow daisy earrings and was super brave through it all. She asked the lady right before she pierced them, "I wonder if I'll scream?" :)

She didn't.

Oh. My. Goodness.

The kid is on cloud 9. When we got home we styled her hair and "practiced" her smile for tomorrow. All I had to do was say, "Show me how much you like your ears pierced."

[cue the beaming]

And really, isn't she a doll?

Dishes

2011-10-13T10:11:00.001-05:00

Didn't I JUST do these?

Hyrum

2011-10-12T13:24:00.002-05:00

As I was cleaning up the milk he just spilled, I guess I moved my hand a little too close to his toy because Hyrum suddenly grabbed it away and said, "MINE!"

I looked at him and said, "Is that a nice way to talk to mommy?"

"No."

"What do you think you should say?"

[pauses to think]

"More milk, please!"

Overheard

2011-10-04T23:08:00.002-05:00

Andrea to Lacie: "If you want to help me -- if you REALLY want to help me, then just go play. I can just do this better by myself."

Uh oh. Wonder where she's heard that one?

Copy-cat - and a little color crazy

2011-10-02T13:25:00.004-05:00

In case you missed Jen's latest posts, one of them highlighted her prep for General Conference. Wow! Impressive, to say the least. Or, as Mark put it:

"Over-achievers.com."

I, of course, am once again, green with envy. Well, more like just totally in admiration of her awesome efforts (and success!). Now to be fair, this was a project she's been working on for some time. It has evolved over the last 3 conference seasons. And looking at all the work that went into it, it's easy to see why. We're talking serious time investment finding pictures, sizing, spacing, plotting, planning, coloring, laminating, cutting, gluing, cutting, more cutting, etc.

So of course I was THRILLED TO PIECES when I asked if I could copy her and she emailed me all her hard work she'd put together.

!!!

Hooray! Awesomeness without the work!

Okay, it did take some work. But I was able to hammer it out in a couple days (I finished around 4am this morning - and no, I did NOT sleep through Conference, thank you very much!). Thank you, Jen! And thanks again for posting on Thursday, so I was able to do it in time to actually use it. Yay!

Anyway, here is my finished product. It is a little modified, but I think it suits our family just perfectly.

Ta da!

I love it! And the kids have had fun posting the speakers, topics, organists, etc.

Okay, so maybe Conference today was still chaotic -- I doubt very much that the kids actually HEARD anything...

Hey, it's a goal to work towards, right?

Jen-inspired (Beware: LONG)

2011-09-23T09:08:00.006-05:00

So, anyone who has ever talked to me for any length about being a mom has most likely heard me reference my sis-in-law, Jen. That's because she's amazing. A-MAZing.

Seriously. I kinda hero-worship her. Without the kinda.

Yeah, yeah, I know -- everyone is human; everyone has faults; don't put people on a pedestal; blah, blah, blah. I know. I know she is human and has struggles. She tells me about them. It doesn't diminish that I still totally admire her and, not-so-secretly, want to be like her.

Her organization is ri-di-cu-lous (in a good way). Everything is laminated, labeled, cataloged, and/or put in a binder.

And it's not even just that she's organized. It's what she organizes. Okay, that's everything, but what I mean is the things/activities/projects she does are amazing. You walk into her house and just by looking around you can see that her kids are involved in music, learning about the gospel, educationally stimulated, and taught about family -- immediate, extended, ancient, etc.

It's incredible. I love it. I want it. I try to be like it.

But the thing I think I'm most impressed with is that she actually wants and does spend time doing these things/activities/projects WITH her kids. She actually holds FHE every week, scripture study & family prayer every night. She has gone all out re-inventing? the way they celebrate Easter and Christmas so that it is focused on Christ. She broke down the Family: Proclamation to the World into mini lessons, complete with visuals and activities AND THEN DID THEM. The things she comes up with are incredible, but it's her follow-through that is so impressive.

But back to the things she does...

One of her masterpieces (in my opinion) is her library. It's her room dedicated to the materials she has made, bought and collected for the education and stimulation of her kids' growing little minds. Think Montessori with lots of gospel thrown it.

And while I'm on a roll gushing about all this, I may as well admit that I am totally GREEN with envy over it. It's true. I'm so jealous. But not in the I-want-it-not-her-have-it sort of way; I just want it, too.

Switch gears a sec ~

Last week I attended the "Meet the Teacher" with Andrea & Lacie. Which, btw, is funny to me since Andrea has her same teacher that she had last year, and I met Lacie's teacher before school started, then conferenced with her on the 2nd day of school. Haha. Oh well; the girls were excited to show me the rooms.

Anyway, while sitting through the different power-point presentations of what to expect, I started realizing that I have no where in my house for the kids to come home and make a routine of doing homework, reading , etc. Mostly the kitchen table is reserved for that, but that's only if you can dig it out from under bills, junk mail, Mark's tools, last night's dinner dishes, and whatever toys Hyrum lost interest in a couple hours ago.

Sooooo...

I am happy - more than happy. More like giddy. I am giddy to announce/blab that I now have my own Jen-inspired library! Yay!!! I TOTALLY LOVE IT!

Okay, it's not as cool as Jen's, but eh. Oh well. Work with what you have, right?

Ready? Because I am so excited I can't stop freaking out...

Ta Da!

(note the "stage" that is our bow window sill, complete w/ an amp & mic for the kids' concerts)

HOORAY!

Mind you, this used to be our tv/movie room with a massive 51" wide, 3' deep, 5' tall tv in there. What happened to it? Craigslist. That's right. No more tv. (we'll see how long this lasts)

Like I said, giddy is the feeling around here. Also maybe because I keep staying up super late to get it finished???

Anyway, I LOVE it! And so do the kids. It's where we spend our days now, and it's fabulous. Although, it may have something to do with the fact that the rest of the house has gotten COMPLETELY neglected and mostly looks like this:

Oy.

But I have my library!

Now, to finish off my "Ode to Jen..."

While working on the library project, I kept singing through this song. First because it was a fun, clever idea; then because it got stuck in my head; and finally, because it really was inspiring.

"I'm Trying to Be Like Jen"

I'm trying to be like Je-n,

I'm following in her way.

Her organization gives me

the hope for a bet-ter way.

Some times I just want to watch movies all day,

but I try to remember as I once heard her say, saying,

"Teach Montessori," "Teach Joy School," and such.

"Sensory skills that use sight, smell and touch;

teach math and teach reading in all that you do,"

And some day, I'll be like her too.

Jen, you're amazing. Totally inspiring. I love you and think you're awesome. Thanks for being such a great example.

Oh, and sorry if this post totally embarrasses you. :)

A new "first"

2011-09-15T12:08:00.002-05:00

well this is something I didn't expect...

I mean, no one LIKES having their mouth numb after coming home from the dentist, but the numbness in my tongue, cheek & lips has also spread all the way up to the left side of my nose!

yeah.

annoying, to say the least.

On the up side, I went in for a root canal on my back upper right molar, and came out with a filling on my back upper left. Hmmm? Turns out the dentist couldn't be sure which tooth was infected on the right, and rather than doing the root canal on the wrong tooth, he opted to take care of the root canal needed on the other side. Then it turned out to only need a filling. Happy day!

Ditched

2011-09-07T09:03:00.003-05:00

Each morning I drive the girls to school, park a little up the street and walk them to the front doors. It's our little routine. They love it and I absolutely cherish it. Not to mention the fact that it cuts out the crazy traffic-jam drop-off scenario. And I get my exercise for the day. Haha. (I say that jokingly, but really I'm not. Just kidding. Sorta. Not really. ANYWAY.)

THIS morning, however, as we were nearing the steps up to the building, each of the girls saw a cute boy from her class, and BOTH of them took off -- totally ditching me without a backwards glance! Lacie grabbed at the boy's hand from her class, and Andrea got all googly-eyed as Tremain non-chalantly sauntered past and called out to her.

Oh. My. Gosh. !!

Next thing you know, they'll be playing kissing tag. Ack!

Question:

2011-09-02T23:26:00.001-05:00

If a woman is able to literally GROW an entire human being, why can't that same woman grow another set of arms to take care of said human being?

Just sayin'.

Do you ever...

2011-08-29T11:52:00.002-05:00

want to just run out your front door, screaming, and just not come back? Well, at least for a long time. But then you realize that it's blazing hot outside, and you'd rather enjoy the comforts of A/C, so then you modify your plan to jumping in the car and just driving away? But then you remember the list of errands you need to run, and think about how irresponsible it would be to be out, driving around, and NOT get your errands done? But then you think about what you'd have to do to get ready to run those errands - change diapers, re-clothe kids, pack bag, make/find list, gather snacks (or pay the price), get a bottle ready, find my purse --- and the thought of it all is enough to make you want to just crawl back into bed? Or run out of the house, screaming.

Or was that just me?

Career Paths

2011-07-16T14:42:00.003-05:00

Over the years as I've watched my kids grow in and out of different stages, I've often thought about the different abilities and talents they display and how that could translate into a career later in life.

When Andrea was just tiny, she loved the movie Snow White. During the scene where Snow White runs through the forest Andrea would jump up and run around the house, imitating the movie. Then she'd fall into a heap on the floor, bury her head and fake sob all dramatic-like. Later she translated that into her every-day life -- when she got in trouble, for instance. Thus, the first career I was sure she'd have was that of an actress. Lacie, on the other hand, was becoming quite the swiper. (Andrea was often overheard calling out the phrase from Dora, the Explorer, "Swiper, no swiping!") And so it was that we determined Lacie's calling in life -- a pick-pocket.

When Hyrum came along he was the happiest, smiliest baby EVER. It was unreal. At 2 weeks old the kid was laughing out loud in his sleep! I have witnesses! Anyway, we figured he'd grow up to make a great professional Santa Claus. Meanwhile, Andrea was displaying signs of becoming a Rocket Scientist, and Lacie was shaping up to be quite the little con artist.

It took Hyrum until he was 13.5 months before he started crawling, and around 20-21 months before walking. So we knew he'd never be an Olympic athlete, but with his size he was shaping up to be quite the candidate for a football linebacker. Andrea was becoming a serious insect expert and novelist, and Lacie was refining her skills as a thief.

Nowadays, Andrea is quite the fashion designer -- sewing together paper towels, cutting up Barbie clothes for scrap materials and fashioning plastic garbage bags into "creature power suits." Hyrum loves placing his toy pals in precarious situations so that he may either save them or watch them fall to their deaths. I figure he'll make a good director some day. And Lacie? Sweet Lacie. I have no doubt some day we'll all hear her name on the nightly news -- as the most wanted white-collar crimes fugitive in the books.

we just have a wealth of 'em today

2011-07-15T20:39:00.002-05:00

Me: "What time are you leaving?"

Mark: "Nine (9:00pm)."

~later~

Me: "Why are you leaving 45 mins ahead of time?"

Mark: "We're not. Stu is picking up Eddie at 9:15, and then swinging by to get me."

Me: "But you said you were leaving at 9:00."

Mark: "I just said that because because 9 is a rough number."

joining the 'isms' ranks

2011-07-15T19:25:00.002-05:00

I guess Hyrum is destined to give me good material like his sisters. Lacie had fallen asleep at the kitchen table on a chair and was "out" a couple hours. She awoke when Andrea dropped a stapler on her foot and started (justifiably) crying out in pain.

As Lacie's head drowsily rose up above the table, Hyrum started running around yelling,

"Lacie's alive! Lacie's alive!"

Logic

2011-07-15T11:36:00.002-05:00

Andrea: "What kind of food do hornets eat?"

Me: "Let's look it up ... nectar and other sugary solutions."

Andrea: "Okay, I have a new idea. Do hornets drink water?"

Me: "Probably."

Andrea: "Okay. Then we can put some water in the bottom of a bag..."

Me: "You're going to keep a hornet in a bag?"

Andrea: "Or a box."

Me: "But hornets like to fly."

Andrea: "It could be a big box. A big clear box, and we'll put it outside so it can have sunlight."

Me: "Andrea, would YOU like to live in a box?"

Andrea: "No. But I'm not a hornet."

Thieving Monkeys

2011-07-09T20:56:00.002-05:00

I am going to go CRAZY!

Somehow my girls think it is perfectly acceptable to not only swipe whatever thing they find to their fancy, but bring it to bed with them as well.

On a regular basis we have to dump the contents of Lacie's pillowcase when the bulging lumps look a little too suspicious. We find such things as dolls, books, clothes, the soap dish, dvd cases, toast from breakfast, pens and pencils, and any toy she is currently hiding from her siblings.

Yesterday I showed up to a bridal shower a day early since the girls had stolen the invitation because of the pretty paper.

Tonight I removed from Andrea's bed the ottoman to my rocker and a piece of luggage - the size suitcase you carry-on on a plane.

I mean, really?!

Not to mention all the times they've swiped our keys, my purse, Jacob's blankets, the broom, my jewelry, the potato peeler, family calendar, Mark's hair brush, sheet music, fingernail polish, toothpicks, any sort of toy, and pretty much any other random thing you would not expect.

Seriously, what do I do with that?

Why I'm not in charge

2011-06-27T11:26:00.003-05:00

Last year I thought I had been knocked off the proverbial mountain with news of an unplanned pregnancy.

Look what I would have missed out on!

Andrea quote of the day, part 2

2011-06-25T10:20:00.001-05:00

Andrea: "The "19s" were in the old days."

Me: "Huh?"

Andrea: "Like, 1968 and 1962 and ... well, that's all I can remember."

Andrea quote of the day

2011-06-25T10:16:00.001-05:00

"I'm talking about what place it's at -- not where it is."

Girl Power

2011-06-21T23:25:00.003-05:00

I was watching the girls playing with their made-up castles and overheard Andrea talking about her "Queendom."

I asked her about it and she said it was because, "there's no king; it's my castle and I'm the Queen."

Should I be nervous

2011-06-15T10:25:00.001-05:00

that my 5-yr old is chanting,

"Destroy everything!"

over and over?

Loot

2011-06-14T21:29:00.005-05:00

-- from my scavenging under the couch:

kitchen bowl

toy ice cream cone

Valentine's card from me to Mark, circa 2006

C-cell battery

Barbie platter of shrimp

deck of Rummy cards

cork to a piggy bank

baby squeeze toy belonging to friends whose baby is no longer a baby

several VHS tapes

Hyrum's church pants

Hyrum's pajama pants

Lacie's pajama pants

"Your Amazing Body" book

pony-tail holder

doll shoe

There was nothing living or used-to-be living under there.

Hmmm.

Must be an off day.

A long, quick update

2011-06-12T23:18:00.010-05:00

Earth Day:

Downtown Dallas. Put on by one of Mark's clients, so naturally we had to make an appearance.

Hyrum, super cute as always.

The girls found some relief from the heat, frolicking in a cool puddle fountain thing.

A rare photo of me, since I'm not particularly happy with how I right now...

Hyrum got to see a dog,

Mark got to meet Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing from the show "Dallas").

Random:

Andrea likes being a big sister; Jacob doesn't always appreciate it so much.

Museum of Science & History:

Hyrum liked the lights.

The girls liked riding a tricycle w/ square wheels.

Everyone liked playing on the ginormous wooly mammoth who, by the way, was not so wooly.

The feature exhibit was about DINOSAURS!

Big, scary, animatronic dinosaurs that scared the snot out of poor Hyrum.

This was as close as Mark could get before Hyrum burst into tears.

Aww, a little monster putting her hand in a big monster's handprint.

More random:

Mark works hard. Hyrum is his little buddy.

I dressed Lacie up like a princess for church today. Side-note: she always refers to herself as a princess. We like to reinforce it.

Jacob is an ANGEL BABY! Oh. my. goodness.

So cute. So fun. So want to eat him up.

Mark turned 41. His cake was a little unconventional.

End of the year:

Andrea got an award. No surprise, she's a smarty-pants.

She also loves her teacher...

and is at least 4 inches taller than all the kids in her class.

We sure love her!

Lacie got a graduation ceremony.

She looked thrilled...

Not as thrilled as Hyrum.

We love our Clifton Caterpillar!

to my older sisters:

2011-06-11T18:28:00.002-05:00

I apologize.

I am sorry.

For all those times that I sneaked in and took clothes out of your closet;

for all the times I pilfered your jewelry after you left for school;

for sneakily going through all your cool knick-knacks and momentos;

for rifling through your stuff when you were gone;

for swiping cool possessions I hoped you'd never miss;

for copying your sayings and gestures;

for butting in on you and your friends;

for wanting in on everything you did;

I'm sorry.

I watch Lacie do all this (and more) to Andrea and I think back about all the "little sister" stuff that I did over the years. Wow, it was a lot. And it had to have been more than obnoxious. I know it drives Andrea crazy. Shoot, it drives ME crazy just trying to police all the stolen goods. But I notice something when I see this -- something I didn't quite explain very well to you when we were kids. All those times, all those things, everything I did was because I was trying to be like you. You were my big sisters. You were cool. And though I'm sure it probably drove you as mad as it is now driving Andrea, I'd like to say the same thing to you that I now tell her -- it's only because she is (I was) trying to be like you.

Take it as a compliment.

And hopefully that will mean more to you than it does to Andrea.

ism

2011-06-10T16:23:00.002-05:00

Lacie: "Mom, you look beautiful!"

Me: "Thanks, Lacie."

Lacie: "What happened?"

Question:

2011-06-08T16:32:00.000-05:00

is it unreasonable to put my 5-yr old in time-out for the next 3 days?

Evil has a new name...

2011-06-06T18:28:00.002-05:00

Lacie told me today that I was evil. When I asked how, she replied that it was in my voice when I told her she had to do the dishes.

Not! my! fault!

2011-06-03T20:02:00.003-05:00

Okay, help. What do I do with a child who is OBSESSED with laying blame for any- and every- thing that happens?!

For example:

This morning, said child went to play barbies in the tall dollhouse. Said child did not notice the barbie yacht parked on top of the dollhouse. Granted, it's not the most conventional parking place. I'll give her that. But it is large. Very noticeable. Yet somehow she didn't notice, opened the dollhouse, and said yacht fell on said child's head. Ouch.

Naturally there was weeping and wailing that ensued, but oddly enough, it was accompanied by very bitter, very loud declarations of fault. At younger sister. For parking the yacht on the house.

Hmmm.

Mark and I spent almost all of our patience quota for the day trying to explain how sister's actions were not related to the fall-on-the-head incident, therefore absolving her of any guilt.

The child would not yield.

My head almost exploded.

Seriously, what do I do with that?

Auto woes

2011-05-29T18:03:00.002-05:00

Alas.

I hate car trouble.

I think everyone does.

My mom hates it enough that she named her new car "Charity" -- because 'Charity never faileth.'

We can all hope. (and have faith! hahaha! I crack myself up)

This weekend we were hit with a double whammy:

Friday afternoon, Black Jack* started acting funny. I pulled over and wouldn't you know, he wouldn't start again. Stupid alternator.

Of course I had all 4 kids with me. And no phone.

Thankfully we were right next to a McDonalds. Now, if you ever break down and have a bunch of kids with you, the best place to break down is next to a McDonalds. It the perfect place to let your kids go wild for a few hours while you sort your troubles out. And who can be grumpy downing an Oreo Blast?

As it turned out, my friend, Angela, was our hero and came to save us. Bless her! I cannot even count all the times she's bailed me out of like situations.

With Black Jack down, we were left to go to church this morning using the other cars: Wilma* & Mark's work car, since we can't fit everyone in either one alone. And even if we could all fit in Mark's car, it's too full of his work stuff to fit.

So we rearranged car seats and such, got everyone placed and buckled, went to pull out, and thunk-thunk.

...

Crap.

Wilma's front tire was completely flat.

Turns out it had a big slash in the tire that looks suspiciously like someone came along and, well, slashed it.

Guess that's what we get for leaving it on the street.

Blast.

And we would have been almost sorta on time.

*We name our vehicles. It's a tradition handed down from my family. Growing up I remember cars named Bugzy, Van-Goh, Babe the blue truck, the Puick, the "eep," Boris, and Natasha; with bikes including Silver Fox, Pink Panther, Bluebell, Lion, and a vacuum named Sebastian.

Black Jack came to us originally named Jack, because it was an Eddie Bauer edition. (Get it? Jack Bauer?) But when Andrea excitedly told her teacher about the new car, her enthusiasm confused the named and she called it Black Jack. We thought it was so cute of her that we'd let it stick.

Lacie-ism

2011-05-23T10:29:00.002-05:00

Lacie: I'm going to put this binky over here with the other one so it won't be lonely.

Me: I don't think binkys get lonely.

Lacie: Yes. They do.

Yesterday at church we stayed late, waiting to see the Bishop. We hadn't made an appointment so we just had to wait until everyone who had made an appt was done. As we sat in the foyer we watched the 1st counselor and clerk walking around the building, coming and going several times. When at last they were ready to go home, they said 'good-bye' to us and headed out the doors. Lacie non-chalantly raised her head and called after them,

"Good-bye, you two."

Thanks for noticing

2011-05-20T22:31:00.003-05:00

Me: Do you like my earrings?

Mark: Umm... Well, I've never seen you wear them.

Me: I've been wearing them all day. I just took them off.

Mark: Oh.

Me: So...?

Mark: Huh?

Me: Do you like them?

Mark: Like what?

Me: The earrings!

Mark: Oh, yeah. Where did you get them?

Me: Sam Moons. Why?

Mark: Yeah. They're nice.

a little later...

Me: Okay, now that I'm wearing them, do you like them?

Mark: What?

Me: MY EARRINGS! DO. YOU. LIKE. MY. EARRINGS?!

Mark: Sure. I guess. I mean, they're earrings. Ya know?

As I exit, disgruntled, Mark calls out, "You make them look good!"

Thanks.

My day

2011-05-17T23:59:00.000-05:00

I changed upwards of 20 diapers today.

I made 3 trips to schools and spent $58 filling up the car on the way.

I grabbed a pizza because not only did I not make breakfast, I also did not make lunch nor dinner.

I ran the same 1 load of laundry through the washer for the 2nd time since I failed to move it over to the dryer before it started to mildew.

I got no dishes done.

I dodged probably 10 calls from a creditor I really don't want to talk to right now.

I sat on hold with my bank for the better part of an hour.

I helped Hyrum put together the same puzzle 4 times.

He put it together probably 8 times more.

I looked at Lacie's drawing in increments possibly 3000 times.

I watched Andrea do a "spin-kick" more times than I thought I could stand, but fewer than she wanted.

I used 3 different bottles to feed Jacob today to avoid having to wash one each time; weird that I managed to wash them each time anyway.

I only put the movie "Cars" on once today. Significantly less than usual.

I spent 1 1/2 hrs with my counselor and was interrupted every 5 minutes. (home visit)

I googled the following: lyrics to "Hush-a-bye;" travel hints & games for kids; who is Jeremy Priven?; the level of safety in regards to checks-by-phone; and, the Dragon Man's Military Museum.

I read 1 book to the girls.

I picked up a bazillion crayons. Likely the same hundred crayons over and over.

I allowed Hyrum 3 glasses of RootBeer.

I ate only 1 slice of pizza, but probably the majority of the breadsticks.

I watched the season finale of "The Good Wife" and half of "NCIS:LA" plus 2 re-runs of "Criminal Minds," all while attempting more than 18 times to get Jacob to STAY asleep.

I wrote 2 emails.

I yelled way too much.

I allowed the girls on the computer too long.

I put the wrong kid in time-out.

I never did do anything about Lacie hitting Andrea because I didn't know what to do.

I got into a "who loves who more" play-war with Lacie 3 times.

I talked to both girls' teachers.

I spent an hour trying to convince Jacob that laying on a colorful mat, staring at a blinking, singing star is fun. He didn't buy it.

I brushed my teeth once, but probably that will be all.

I didn't take a shower. I didn't take one yesterday. Or Sunday.

I replaced 1 lightbulb.

I'm about to go read a few chapters of the Book of Mormon.

I'm still trying to decide if I should feel accomplished or unproductive.

Do you ever...

2011-05-16T19:37:00.002-05:00

Ever look around at the mess that is your house and feel so overwhelmed by it that all you can do is take a nap?

(Perhaps this is the reason the mess is so big?)

Or is it just me?

My apologies

2011-05-10T15:44:00.000-05:00

I distinctly remember wondering as a child, why on Earth my mom would care if I was fighting with my siblings. I mean, it wasn't as if I was fighting with her. No screaming, name-calling, insult-hurling, and/or "accidental" hitting/kicking was directed at her, so why the big deal?

Sorry, Mom.

So, so sorry.

Location, location, location!

2011-05-09T17:06:00.000-05:00

They teach you that when it comes to real estate the top selling or non-selling factor is LOCATION.

Maybe that's why we've stayed in Irving, and particularly, our neighborhood, so long. There are always exciting things happening on our street.

In the 8 years we've lived here there have been:

4 houses burned down (3 down the street, 1 right behind us);

1 house blow up (right across the street);

1 drug bust by the FBI (1 block down);

1 hostage situation where SWAT was called in and we were asked by the police to not leave the house due to the sharp-shooters on the roof-tops (2 blocks down);

1 burglar killed in a shoot-out with the cops (2 houses up);

1 car drive through a house (corner);

1 car smash through our neighbor's brick mailbox then land, flipped over, onto our driveway;

1 surprise visit over our back fence (while Mark was in the backyard) by fully-outfitted policemen chasing a running suspect;

multiple calls to the police to complain about the ever-annoying marijuana smoke drifting into our yard;

multiple calls to the police to complain about the Latin music blasting over the fence through the wee hours of the morn;

multiple calls to the police because the neighbors are passed out, drunk in their cars with the radio blasting;

and most recently -- the inspiration behind this post --

someone from the Attorney General's office knocking at our door to inquire as to the whereabouts of our neighbor who recently, and quite suspiciously, moved in the middle of the night.

Ahh, Irving, how we love thee.

Happy?

2011-05-09T12:09:00.003-05:00

For Mother's Day I got a ticket-tape parade. Well, that is if you count a whole bunch of papers cut up into itsy-bitsy pieces then paraded through the house as ticket-tape, and cheering that sounds a whole lot more like mom yelling, then yes, I got my parade.

I talked to my sister on the phone last night around 10pm. She asked how my day had been. I replied that I was currently microwaving some Ramen noodles for my dinner after I'd just put my 9th batch of laundry in the washer.

...

She didn't press the issue.

Now before anyone starts sharpening the pitchforks and aiming them at Mark, I have to say this - it was WONDERFUL to be able to do 9 loads of laundry. Truly. Oh, and by the way, those 9 loads encompassed 2 sets of sheets and most of the kids' clothes. That's it. Yeah... laundry has been stacking up a wee bit. Why? Because our dryer kicked the bucket right as I was noticing I really needed to get some laundry done. 3 weeks ago. And since I'd rather go buy new clothes than do laundry anyway, I certainly did not find the motivation to haul everything to a laundromat. Or even my friend's house when offered.

Normally in this situation Mark would have just torn apart the dryer and fixed it. (And really, how many people can do THAT? He's amazing.) But, since we were planning to install a recently-acquired gas dryer, he figured he'd spend the energy on accomplishing that.

However,

that meant running a new gas line to the laundry room. Oh, and the laundry room is getting re-modeled, so that meant pouring a cement slab. And busting out walls and concrete. And before that, stuff had to be moved out of the garage. Into the shed that needed to be built. In the back yard that needed excavating.

You might say that those loads of laundry were a long time coming.

So anyway, Mark has been burning the midnight oil to get all this done. And though it still has a ways to go, I am grateful for the all-nighter he pulled Saturday to make sure I had a working dryer so I could do laundry for church. Even if we didn't end up going since I had a horrible night with the baby, the kids were feeling sick, and Mark was a walking zombie.

Happy Mother's Day!

Stupid clothes

2011-05-01T00:40:00.002-05:00

Forget the "apple," "pear" or "hourglass" shapes, I need something to flatter my post-partum "Weeble-Wobble" shape.

I just spent a horrific night of trying on clothes at a store, and I've decided that there are absolutely no designers out there who have the compassion and/or imagination for designing mom clothes. I mean, is it really that hard to create an outfit that will camoflauge thunder thighs, hide the muffin-top, disguise back-fat, lift droopy boobs, create the illusion of a waistline, elongate the legs, and flatter the back-side? Really.

After one of my prior pregnancies I had the brilliant idea of just buying a corset. You know, squish me smaller. I looked into it and found them a little pricey -- around $80. My mom suggested that I just spend $80 on salad. Looking back, I don't think she meant for me to eat all $80 of salad at once.

In consolation, I do recall reading a very scientific article at the check-out line explaining how a lack of sleep and over-abundance of stress causes your body to crave sweets & fats. And why aliens only come out at night.

2011-04-24T22:14:00.005-05:00

You know there is some healthy sibling fighting going on when you overhear things like,

"I'm watching you, Lacie! I'm watching your every move!"

and

"I don't care if you are in a force-field - get in bed!"

Speaking of force-fields...

the other day I was in the car with Andrea. She noticed a house with one of those locking gates in front of the front door. She commented how safe it made the house and how it was good to be safe, etc. Then she said,

"I know! I'll ask Santa for a force-field for our house next Christmas."

(Me:) "Really? A force-field? I don't know if they have those."

(Andrea): "Come on! You know the elves make everything [for Santa], and they can make anything."

Mark-ism

2011-04-21T14:16:00.002-05:00

I love Tuesday morning - the store.

I came home today w/ 2 beautiful figurines that I surely would have paid $20 or so at Deseret Book. Instead I paid $3.99. LOVE!

But that isn't the point of the story.

When I got home I handed them to Mark and informed him that he now had his Mother's Day gift for me. His response?

"Greater love hath no woman than this..."

SuperStar

2011-04-17T23:40:00.003-05:00

While my mom was here in Texas, she showed me how to do a perm - on Lacie!

We'd done actually done it before and LOVED it. But then she got ahold of scissors, and, well, we had to wait a while before her hair was long enough to do it again. :S

It took us 2 attempts. The second time we used twice as many curlers to make sure it curled well!

She was such a good sport!

And, of course, she completely ROCKS her curls!

Loving Jake

2011-04-17T23:33:00.004-05:00

What a cutie!

We sure love this guy!

(wearing Hyrum's blessing outfit)

Bumbling in the Bluebonnets

2011-04-17T23:11:00.004-05:00

We've lived in Texas our entire married lives and never managed to get pictures in the famed Bluebonnets. We were determined this year to change that. Too bad we picked a day when the kids were tired, it was blazing hot, late in the day, and the wind was blowing like crazy! Ah well. We tried.

Dead Worms

2011-04-17T17:09:00.001-05:00

I truly thought I was going to get lucky and not have to deal with my kids having a fascination with all things creepy-crawly.

I think I decided that when the girls came running inside one day, screaming, and refused to go back outside because they thought they had seen a bee.

So you can imagine my surprise when I went to change a diaper in the nursery and found on the shelf a jar of dead worms.

I guess I never thought to tell them about making air holes.

Sorry, worms.

Know-it-all

2011-04-17T16:14:00.001-05:00

Any time my kids ask me how I know something, or why I think things are a certain way, or challenge in any other fashion that I am right, I remind them that:

"Moms know everything."

Early on Mark and I went to great lengths to establish & reinforce our almighty powers of omniscience. At one point we installed a security surveillance camera in the girls' bedroom and hooked it up to the tv. Then we'd chuckle diabolically as we'd yell, "get back in bed," then watch the girls stop dead in their tracks, sporting that deer-in-the-headlights look, wondering how on earth we could possibly have known that they had gotten out of bed? Woo-ha-ha!

HOWEVER,

recently it seems my mind has actually turned to mush. Call it sleep-deprivation, being overwhelmed, or maybe all those hours of watching tv are now taking its toll. Who knows? Whatever the cause, I am officially clueless. I've lost it. I know longer know anything about anything. My disciplinarian methods have been reduced to me begging Lacie, "Please, tell Mommy what to do so that you'll _______ (fill in the blank -- go to bed, stop fighting, pick up your shoes, etc).

Pathetic.

Last week I switched out Jacob's formula because I thought he was allergic to milk. That was once I realized he had a rash spread across his face, head, neck, and back. And that was after a week of thinking the kid just had really horrible acne! And now after all that, it turns out that he just has eczema.

Bah!

I used to joke with Mark that we needed to write the manual on parenting before we had kids and still knew everything. What I would give to have that manual now!

Rapunzel(s)

2011-04-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

I cracked up this morning when the girls showed me their "long hair."

You know they're related to Molly (my sister) when they can/do create anything with paper & tape!

31

2011-04-04T23:22:00.000-05:00

I turned 31 this year, and this is all I have to show for it:

All things considered, I think I'm doing o-kay!

the Long story

2011-04-01T10:24:00.000-05:00

Get ready for the barrage of pics!

My apologies for taking so long to get this out. I've been a little... overwhelmed the last few days/weeks. Some of these pictures are already posted on Facebook, but I figured I'd put 'em here as well to include the narration.

Here goes!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

3:30am

After getting pretty much no sleep, we got up early to make it to the hospital by 4:15am for the scheduled induction.

I wanted to look pretty. :)

It took a while to get things going -- always does -- but I am grateful that they started out with the epidural. After having contractions for 3 weeks and starting out at a 4 before being induced, we were all pretty sure things were going to happen fast...

And they did!

15 mins after the doc broke my water the baby literally shot out like a rocket. My first attempt at a push was interrupted by the doctor yelling, "Wait! Stop! Stop!"

Official labor time: 1 hr 12 mins.

I was so happy to have Mark there with me. He was happy too, except when he had to jump back in order not to get sprayed by the gush of waters. Ew! (Sorry if that's TMI - this is for journalling purposes, afterall.)

He cut the cord like a seasoned pro and then we all waited for the cries...

and waited...

and started asking the little guy if he was going to do anything besides lay there and blink at us.

Unfortunately, a super fast delivery isn't necessarily good for the baby. He had been riding so high on top of all the water that he didn't spend enough time squeezing through the birth canal. As it turns out, it actually serves a purpose for women to labor that way. As the baby squeezes through, it also squeezes out the water in the baby's lungs and prepares the kid to take a great big breath to cough/cry the rest out. Again, sorry for TMI, and again, journalling purposes.

Apparently he didn't get enough squeezing.

It actually looks a lot worse than it was. But it still was really hard to watch my prize roll out the door and not be able to hold him.

He was in the NICU from Wednesday - Sunday. The biggest concerns were his breathing (due to the water in his lungs) and getting him to eat well and eat enough to be safe under my care at home. (It sounds bad wording it that way, but that's how it felt, too.)

It was really hard to not be able to pick him up until he was well enough to have the tubes and cords off.

Hallelujah when they did!

The night nurses in the NICU were pretty hysterical. They used every opportunity they could find to doll up the beds with fun colored blankets (all coordinated, of course) and fun decorations. They were really fun and made my time in there a lot easier.

One night I went in and found him all dressed up. The nurses said, "We figured he'd sleep better if he was warmer and cozier."

I just laughed.

Back at the ranch...

While all that craziness was going on, Mark was having an adventure of his own. For a couple years now we've been planning to put an extension on the kitchen (to give our tiny pantry and laundry room some breathing space). It required space from our garage, which was already packed. So that required a shed to store stuff in.

You see why this started a couple years ago.

And naturally, since there was a new baby coming home, now was the time to finish!

The cement truck showed up Saturday morning and with the help of my dad and Nick (Thiele), Mark and the guys poured the concrete for the extension and the shed.

And of course, after a week of nice weather with temperatures in the 70s, Saturday was FREEZING cold and threatened rain all day! Thank you, Texas weather.

Thankfully it all worked out. That night I spent "rooming in" with the little guy in preparation of taking him home the next day. It was the first time Grandpa Gary, Grandma M'Jean and Aunt Lexye got to come see him.

What a cutie!

Note the hat - isn't it awesome?! My grandmother, "Gommy the Great" as my kids call her, made it and sent it down with my parents. I love it! So dang cute.

Sunday morning came and I was indeed able to take him home. GLORY BE!

The next hurdle was getting him a name...

church started at 1pm and Nick & Lex were leaving home right after, my dad going home the next day. So any chance of having them there to help bless him would require doing the blessing that day.

I figured someone was going to have to concede if the kid was ever going to get a name, and chances were very high that Mark wouldn't be up to conceding any time soon. I sorta came to terms with that fact the night before, but wasn't quite ready to say anything. It's not that I don't like the name Jacob. I do. I love it. It just happens to be the #1 most used boy name each year for the past hundred years or so. I guess a lot of people like it, too!

So Sunday morning, as I sat pondering this, Hyrum started walking around the house saying, "Ja-cob, Ja-cob."

That clinched it.

The deal was sealed and he was blessed Jacob Allen Viehweg that afternoon by his dad, uncle, grandpa, and another guy we consider to be part of the family (Mom & Dad, you didn't know you had another son, haha).

Isn't he handsome? (That's rhetorical of course.)

So now we have him home.

It's been 4 weeks and this little guy is an absolute delight.

We love him so much!

Welcome to the world, Jacob!

F words

2011-03-30T14:18:00.002-05:00

Four

frantic

frazzled

floundering

falling, flailing; faltering, failing

feeding

fickle feeding

fussy

fighting

feeding

fat

floppy

frumpy

frustrated

fraught

fragile

friends, food,

forgiveness

Forging.

fumbling, flaky,

feeble

Forging.

frightened

faithful

Forging

forward.

Forever

Family

Four

...five?

-isms

2011-03-20T13:04:00.002-05:00

talking about death...

Me: "...but because of what Jesus did, we all get to be alive again after we die."

Lacie: [hands clapped on either side of face] "WHAT?!! No way!!"

Andrea: "Mmmmm. My tongue is overwhelmed with joy and happiness."

Andrea: "Once when I got a shot the doctor gave me a whole roll of stickers after. Do you remember that, Mom? It was when I went to Clifton. I remember it like it was yesterday."

while driving, I was trying to explain to the girls why I did not want to stop in the neighborhood we were currently in...

Me: "There are some places where there is more crime than in other places, and we don't want to be there."

Andrea: "What's crime?"

Me: "Crime is the word they use to talk about all the bad things people do -- like stealing or breaking things."

Andrea: "Or killing people?"

Me: "Uh... yeah. Bad stuff like that."

Lacie: "What bad stuff?"

Andrea: [sigh] "You'll learn more about it when you're older."

Phat

2011-03-15T17:23:00.002-05:00

while picking Lacie up from school, she turned to her teacher (helping her into the car) and said:

"It's not fat anymore."

Lacie's teacher: "What's not fat?"

Lacie: "It used to be fat, but then the baby came out, and now it's not fat anymore."

...

Me: "She's talking about my tummy."

then a few days later...

Lacie: "Mom, your tummy is fat again. It looks like you're going to have another baby."

Thanks, kid.

And here I was feeling all accomplished for dropping 20 lbs in under 2 weeks. Okay, so it's not all that impressive considering the baby was 7.5 lbs and the doc told me I was carrying about 4 qts of water. Annnnd I may have put on, oh, 45 lbs throughout the pregnancy... But still.

And in all fairness, I was not wearing the most flattering of pants.

short story

2011-03-13T03:10:00.004-05:00

okay, so I've been laying low. on purpose. understandably, right? after all, it would only follow that after my hardest pregnancy I would have my hardest recovery.

anyway.

point is, I've been getting calls and inquires about whether anything has happened and if it happened okay and all that.

oops.

sorry.

so here's the short of it --

I was induced Wednesday morning, 3/2/11.

Total delivery time was 1 hr 12 mins. (!!)

7 lbs, 7.2 oz -- biggest baby yet

18.5" long -- shortest baby yet

blonde hair, perfectly round head, big eyes, absolutely beautiful.

was taken immediately to the NICU because he was having troubles breathing with water in his lungs. stayed there until Sunday morning, but is home now and doing fine.

has a name!

Jacob Allen Viehweg

blessed him in church the Sunday after he was born so that Grandpa Gary & Uncle Nick (leaving that day and the day after) could participate in the blessing.

sweetest, cutest, most wonderful little guy ever -- we are sooooo grateful he joined our family!

Yay for Jacob!

Crazy!

2011-03-02T03:43:00.002-06:00

Hey, I'm on the way to go get my baby!

Kinda like a shopping trip. But with a lot of expected pain.

Yes, I realize it's a quarter to 4, and I'm a little neurotic for posting on my blog as the last thing I do before I walk out the door, but hey, I'm a little excited.

As in, didn't sleep a wink.

Can we say "kid before Christmas?"

Another (un-exciting) update

2011-03-01T00:47:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since I last complained... er... posted. I've had some people start to wonder if that was possibly a happy sign? Sadly, no. Well, no baby anyway. My parents arrived in town on Saturday (yay! fresh ears to complain to!), and it has been WONDERFUL. All you who live close to parents, BE GRATEFUL! I realize there are pros & cons to every situation, but right now I'm just enjoying the pros of having Mom & Dad here. And so are my kids! Hooray!

And now on to the complaining! :)

I'd like to report that I've now tried and de-bunked all the so-called methods out there for starting labor: walking, spicy food, sex, bumpy car ride, raspberry leaf tea, and yes, even castor oil.

Nada.

And yes, I do realize that I'm still quite early. My "due date" isn't even for another 10-12 days (depending on who you go by). However, in all fairness to me, I have had every reason to believe it would've happened by now. Continuing my pattern anyway -- Andrea was 7 days early, Lacie was 11, Hyrum was 19. Oh, and then there's the whole FALSE LABOR I've been in nearly constantly since the 19th! "Nearly" constantly meaning good, strong contractions right up until I get to my doctor's or the hospital or call the sitters! Ach!

Anyhow, the end is nigh.

Light at the end of the tunnel.

If nothing else, I will be induced Wednesday morning at 4:30am.

Hallelujah!

So I can stop whining and just focus on having a safe, healthy delivery.

And what to name him...

It's late and yes, I'm up

2011-02-26T01:51:00.004-06:00

I think I read somewhere that if you are in pain, doing the whole "not wanting to go to bed, but really ought to even though I'm sure I'd just lay awake for hours" internal struggle, feeling humongous, and generally just very depressed -- that you should eat chocolate, PB & a whole lot of Red Vines. And watch a teen chick movie about an awkward high school girl who falls into trouble, has a rough time, but ultimately rides off into the sunset on a lawn mower with the hunky heart-throb of the school.
Or something like that.
Problem is,
it's now 2 hrs later, I'm in even more pain, still don't want to go to bed, feeling even bigger, obviously not happy, and now a little worried that my IQ is a little lower than before I started the movie.
In any event, I'm fairly certain that around 2pm tomorrow I will have serious regrets about the decisions made tonight.

Note to husbands

2011-02-25T10:19:00.002-06:00

IF your wife is expecting a child at any moment - meaning there have been several false starts, lots of pain and general unhappiness with it all - a good thing NOT to do is schedule a company to come over early in the morning to do an "energy evaluation" on the house.

And if you already have set up the appointment, keep in mind that TELLING YOUR WIFE, who is probably still in bed and therefore not properly clothed, is a good idea. And no, telling me while I'm still asleep does not count.

But probably the best advice for the situation is to NOT BE GONE when said appointment is supposed to go down.

That would help prevent your preschooler from answering the door, leading to a very embarrassing encounter involving a salesman and your barely-awake and not-properly dressed wife.

You know. Just for future reference.

Update

2011-02-22T17:53:00.002-06:00

Blast.

So much for willing this baby to come on the day of my choosing.

Not for a lack of trying.

I really thought it was going to happen this morning. Really. Contractions were going "great," got the kids all dressed & packed up, called the sitters, called my parents, and then... nothing. Literally. Everything just stopped. Boo!

Graciously, my friend kept Lacie & Hyrum, and Andrea was still in school, so Mark and I got to spend some time alone...er...together. So nice!! Thank you, Tracy!!

And then...

things started back up again. Hooray!

And just in time for my afternoon OB/GYN appt. Hip, hip, hooray!

Literally, I walked in there and announced that I was in labor.

Yeah.

Doc shot that down pretty fast.

I was having pretty intense contractions. Just not intense enough.

And then they stopped.

Again.

Double blast!

I was about in tears. (C'mon, I am control freak, after all!)

So instead of heading to the hospital like we had hoped/expected, we headed back home to pick Andrea up from school. Wouldn't you know, it was a good thing we did.

The poor girl informed me after getting home that it hurt when she went to the bathroom.

Uh oh.

I called the pediatrician right then and was (thankfully!) able to get her in - last appointment of the day, no less. Sure enough - her urine sample was more blood than urine. Urinary tract infection. Ouch!

Ouch! Ouch!

Those who have had one can attest to what I'm saying, that they are NOT fun. Wow, do they ever hurt. Especially if you get to the stage where blood is involved. Not, not, not fun.

Poor kid!

So.

I guess in a way, it's a really, REALLY good thing baby boy did not come today.

I don't think Andrea would have been brave enough to speak up at the sitters', and certainly not in time to get her in before the ped's office closed. Then there's the whole issue of Mark having to leave me at the hospital...

Maybe it's a good thing I'm not in control after all.

Go Time

2011-02-22T01:22:00.002-06:00

Okay.

It's officially the day.

Well, the day I picked out.

You know, months ago.

2/22/11

Good date to remember. Easy.

And consistent with how early I went on the other pregnancies.

So really, is it too much to ask?

I even finally got an infant car seat. Finally.

And bags are packed for me, baby, kids. I'll even throw in some treats for Mark.

Sitters are on alert.

Parents are waiting for the call to jump in the car & head down.

Mark's clients all know, so he's working from home. Mostly.

Cameras are packed, batteries charged. Kids' teachers have been informed.

Okay, the house is still a wreck, but we actually have the bassinet set up and in our room.

Blankets & clothes have been laundered, and we have diapers, binkys, bottles, and formula.

We have absolutely NEVER been this "prepared" to have a kid.

So... can I get my baby now?

Please?

Multi-cultural, creative Tree of Life

2011-02-20T21:28:00.005-06:00

(Sorry the title is deceiving. That would be quite a sight. No, sorry. This is 3-poster-in-one. That's all. My apologies to all disappointed.)

Multi-Cultural Parade

At Lacie's school they hold an annual "multi-cultural awareness," with events lasting all week, ending with a parade on Friday. The students get to parade through the school donning the native dress of the countries they come from.

Last year, Andrea made a sweet, little pioneer girl. Somehow that didn't fit with Lacie's personality, so we opted for something else...

Each kid was holding a flag from their native country. I love that Lacie is holding a Texas state flag! Oh, Texan pride! I love it!

Andrea's Creativity

Okay, I know she's Mark's kid and all, but still, even with that explanation the child never ceases to amaze us with her creativity. And it's hilarious to boot. This girl is clever on so many levels, from academics to logic to contraptions to complaining (though I'm not exactly thrilled with that last one).

Shown below is Andrea's latest "Lacie-proof lock."

I told her she couldn't take the shoelaces out of Daddy's boots. She was not deterred.

Next up is what Andrea does with bibs and a little bit of time on her hands:

It was a lot more impressive when Mark informed me that our daughter had just made a "Daisy Chain" out in the living room. I would've just thought it was cool that she linked them together. Didn't know there was a name for it!

The Tree of Life

Speaking of creativity...

Here is Andrea's Potato Head rendition of the Tree of Life.

It's not so impressive until I explain each part.

First, we have the Iron Rod. (Each potato head piece represents a person.)

Naturally, the Rod leads up to the Tree of Life. (Note the green)

I'm not sure why they're up there, but the 2 pairs of shoes represent Sariah & Nephi standing at the Tree.

Across from the Iron Rod is the 'Great and Spacious Building.'

Can you see all the potato head pieces? Again, representing people.

Finally, we have the 'Mists of Darkness.'

Cleverly represented here by the water damage to a briefcase found out in the garage.

Now look at the whole thing again --

Seriously, the kid is amazing.

Bedrest

2011-02-17T13:18:00.003-06:00

Been on bedrest this last week. Not a fan. I'm totally in nesting mode with more than enough to keep me busy for the next year, and not able to do a dang thing about it.

It all started when the morning after my shower (talk about timing!), I was awakened by "real" contractions coming every 5-7 mins.

Since I was only just barely 36 weeks that day, it was still a little too early. My doc said if my husband were black and we were expecting a girl things would be different. Apparently caucasian boys are the slowest in developing lungs. Dang.

I'm fairly certain it's universal - hating this last stretch of the pregnancy. So I don't feel entirely evil that I have to get daily, and sometimes hourly, reminders of why I don't want this little guy to just come and get it over with already. A couple weeks ago a couple friends were telling me about their enduring weeks of false labor. Ack! I probably shouldn't have commented that I was graciously spared that in my pregnancies. Karma has a real nasty sense of humor.

Anyway, for today's attempt at my daily affirmation that I'm "fine" waiting this out, I'd like to share the positives of being on bedrest:

a) Mark feels empowered when given the authority of warden. And he makes a good warden.

b) I get out of doing yard work, garbage, laundry, dishes, and meal-making. Wahoo! (wait, why don't I like this again?)

c) Morning doesn't generally start for me until around 11am. (really, why don't I like this?)

d) I am continually looked-after by my doting husband, who makes sure I'm well-fed and -hydrated. (except he gets a little stingy when doling out the chocolate...)

e) Mark stayed home from work on Valentine's day to ensure I didn't have to lift a finger all day.

...okay, wait.

This is sounding ridiculous. Why am I complaining again?

My life is pretty dang cush right now, and I'm getting the royal treatment from my husband -- something I didn't get on even my first pregnancy.

I guess some times it takes putting in down in words to see the situation more ... wait ... oooh ... con...trac...tion... ow ... ow ... ow ...

...

Sorry, what was I saying?

My kids

2011-02-09T16:42:00.002-06:00

No. That is not a picture of my kids. Though some days they do act like it...

That is a good demonstration of how my girls play: dinosaurs dressed up in Barbie clothes; imaginative & hilarious. I love it. I love them.

And there are some days I just have to say it out loud and remind myself so I don't chuck 'em all out the window.

No school... again!

2011-02-03T23:38:00.003-06:00

Is it horrible that I am absolutely delighted that for the 4th day in a row IISD has announced there will be no school tomorrow?

HOORAY!

Honestly, I'm more excited than my kids - who are excited, by the way. Of course I would love to say that I've used all this time extremely well -- teaching the kids, playing with the kids, doing fun & educational projects with the kids, etc.

Nope.

It has meant sleeping in without the interruption of dropping-off/picking-up kids at school!

WOO-HOO!

Okay, lest I appear completely awful, we have had a blast with tons more playing time AND Mark stayed home most of the first couple days. What a treat! Yay for random Texas ice storms!

Although... I guess I ought to also mention that we are among the few lucky households who have not lost power, even a little bit. (knock on wood!) With record-low temperatures in the single digits, I can see how losing electricity might seriously alter my perception of this event.

Haunted

2011-01-31T00:37:00.002-06:00

My house is not haunted. My bedroom is.

We have a ceiling fan/light over our bed. It has 3 different speeds. As a gift to me Mark set it up to be on a remote so I wouldn't have to manually change it. Very thoughtful, very sweet. But somehow it offended the room.

Now at random intervals throughout the day our light will turn on/off, and the fan will pick and choose different speeds to blow. On its own. Without anyone in the room. Or you could be in the room and it will do it on its own.

Mark says it must have something to do with the frequency that it's on and maybe a neighbor has something on the same one?

Hmmm.

I might be able to buy that, but it doesn't explain my clock...

My alarm clock is useless - as an alarm, and as a clock. The thing doesn't work. But the way it doesn't work is so perplexing, again I have to chalk it up to the haunted room.

See, you can set the time and it will be correct for a number of days, and then all of a sudden it will be 45 mins fast. Or 20 mins slow. Or 4 hours off one way or another. Whatever it is, it is never predictable and never the same. And the alarm? You'd think that by having it switched to "off" would mean it wouldn't go off. Not so! This thing goes off any time it jolly-well feels like it! Aargh!

The other night was especially fun when I awoke to the fan going at full speed. It was a chilly night, so I wanted it off. It wasn't a couple of hours before the alarm then sounded. Great way to wake up in the middle of the night. I turned it off and was just about to sleep (again), when the lights flew on. Really? REALLY?!

Turned them off. Back to sleep. 2 hours later the alarm goes off - again.

I was ready to scream.

For Christmas Mark got me a new alarm clock. It was a fancy-schmancy one that set itself by satellite, so it was always accurate. No more crazy time changes! Hooray!

I excitedly plugged it in to try it out...

only to find that it consistently set itself to the wrong date.

No kidding. My room is haunted.

Pride & Pregnancy

2011-01-27T22:46:00.003-06:00

I had a marriage counselor who liked to say,

"Marriage is God's way of beating selfishness out of us. Literally."

If that's true, then I think the accompanying adage is,

"Pregnancy is God's way of stripping pride from us. Literally."

The way I see it, pregnancy is 9 months of beating you down in one way or another until the point that you finally give up, submit and willingly go through an ordeal terrible enough that no sane person would want to do it unless it meant ending the months of misery. Sorta like those torture scenes in the movies where they beat the guy so bad he is begging for death. Yeah. Like that.

You think I'm kidding? Over-exaggerating? Being a little dramatic?

Maybe.

But let's examine the evidence:

at the beginning of your lovely journey you have the option of announcing or not announcing. Wisdom would dictate that not announcing could spare potential pain and added grief if things go bad. But then, it leaves you at your most tired and most sick without any explanation to anyone not privy to your secret. OR, you can announce, risk having to make another announcement that you would rather not make, and then start the time-table ticking for everyone to constantly ask, "When are you due? Really? That far? But haven't you been pregnant forever already?" Why yes; yes I have. Thank you for pointing that out.

After a good few weeks of this, you are told you can at least look forward to the part of your pregnancy where you "feel great." Ha.

That, my friends, is a contradiction of terms: "pregnancy" and "feeling great." What a scam! Build you up, make you think you're through the worst of it, and that soon all the puking and nausea and queasiness over random smells will magically end. Sucker! As an added insult to injury, there actually will be a few lucky ones who do feel better. And they'll do all sorts of impressive things with their time and energy to make you look and feel like a lazy lump on a log, with your only comfort being that you're still having to make a mad dash to the sink or toilet at randomly-timed intervals through-out the day. Oh wait...

Next comes "pregnancy brain." This is the time when you think you are functioning as a normal person. No. In reality your memory is shot, your concept of time is completely out of whack, simple instructions magically complicate as you try to follow them, conversations become increasingly difficult to keep straight, hearing is impaired, thought process gets fuzzy, and soon speaking coherently without mixing up phrases or forgetting words takes brain power you would normally reserve for the MCAT or Bar Exam.

This takes us to the next phase - the stupid question/comment phase. As your "pregnancy brain" becomes more pronounced, so does your belly. And people CANNOT resist telling you so. Mostly in ways that are unhelpful, unflattering and generally just undesirable. Unless you enjoy a good, demeaning statement emphasizing that you are the size of a house from each random stranger who feels you deserve a good, public humiliation. Add to that the included invasion of personal boundaries when people suddenly forget you are not Buddha, or that it is not generally acceptable to reach out and rub other peoples' bellies.

At this point you can either develop some great defense moves or come up with some great retorts that will undoubtedly increase the awkwardness of the already painful situation. Or grow a "thicker skin." Yeah, cos you haven't already grown enough...

One thing that does not grow, however, is the time between potty breaks. In fact, this may just disappear altogether. As a bonus, your ability to 'control' the situation will disappear as well. This will leave you violently crossing your legs each time you cough, laugh or sneeze, peeing your pants 20x a day, or wearing Depends. Or all three. Oh, and this feature is one you get to keep forever more!

And for those of you who think running to the bathroom is an option, I regret to inform you that you will no longer be able to run. Or even walk. Waddling becomes your only possible method of transportation, and that is only after waiting a sufficient amount of time after sitting/standing/laying that your muscles are actually able to move again. Be aware that it is also highly likely that at this point you will start retaining ridiculous amounts of water and storing it in your legs on down. Feet turn to footballs and ankles are traded in for cankles. The upside is that you are now free to wax your legs without feeling even a sting. That is, if you can still reach them.

And lest any of you think that staying in bed and hiding out from the world is an option, as tempting as it sounds, it is not actually possible or feasible. Remember that asteroid-sized protrusion on your middle? It's now going to start kicking your innerds - ribs, organs, whatever. Especially when you lay down. And if you think finding a comfortable way of laying down is manageable, you will be sorely disappointed. Obviously sleeping on your belly is not an option. Even if you don't mind laying as if high-centered over a boulder, it isn't advisable for the baby. Neither is on your back, as the weight of your globe-sized extension will actually squish veins inside you and prevent jr. from breathing. On your side, the pull from your projecting appendage will strain your back; slightly elevated can alleviate some of the acid reflux, but crams your distention up into your ribs, thus preventing you from taking anything more than short, strained gasps of air.

Folklore would have you believe that through this whole time you will "glow" from the magic happening within. I think of it more in terms of how radioactive material glows to warn you to stay away. Folklore would also like you to believe that the reason behind your face breaking out like a teenager is because you're either having a girl and therefore 'giving her your beauty,' or because you're having a boy and therefore have too much testosterone in you. Either way, you're a crater-face. And the lush, luminous hair? Sets you up for disappointment all the more when all your hair falls out after baby arrives. Oh, you thought you got to keep that? Sorry to burst the bubble.

The cherry on top is the ever-present need to express to anyone and everyone each complaint you have and let them share in the suffering with you. Except, people don't generally like suffering. Or complaining. Multiply it by nine months and you may not have much of a sympathetic audience left by the end. What to do?

Blog.

An FHE Lesson

2011-01-27T01:00:00.002-06:00

talking about "Feasting upon the words of Christ," I asked the girls what some of the things Christ told us were:

Andrea: "Jesus said to love one another - even if they're bad and want to hurt us."

Me: "Well, yeah, sorta... Lacie? Do you know anything that Jesus said?"

Lacie: "Jesus said to kill all the bad guys!"

next week's lesson: Trials and Opposition

Lacie-ism

2011-01-22T23:05:00.002-06:00

Lacie: "Mom, I'm having a hard time watching this show."

Me: "Really? Why is that?"

Lacie: "Because you're in here."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Lacie: "You're d-i-s-t-r-a-c-t-i-n-g me."

Kid humor

2011-01-17T14:59:00.001-06:00

Andrea: "Knock, knock."
Lacie: "Who's there?"
Andrea: "Skateboard."
Lacie: "Skateboard who?"
Andrea & Lacie in unison: "Skateboard bonk her on the head!"

...did I miss something?

doctor visit tips

2011-01-14T11:23:00.002-06:00

1. Don't schedule on a day your kids get out of school early. You have to take them all with you.
2. Don't schedule during your 2-yr old's nap time. He will make you pay for it.
3. Don't wear coats. I don't care how cold it is outside. This is Texas, and therefore the offices will crank the heat up to 77 degrees. You will end up a walking coat-rack.
4. Don't trust mapquest's time allotment. They don't factor in getting kids in car seats, finding a parking spot, toddlers running away, etc.
5. Don't forget wipes. They are just as crucial as the extra diaper. Sometimes more-so.
6. Do bring new and exciting entertainment objects for each kid so they're occupied and not whining, fighting, running around, or touching things not meant to be touched. Just don't ask me what the new and exciting stuff is - I clearly haven't figured that out yet.
7. Do make sure your kid actually knows the alphabet when they are given a sight exam. It helps on the accuracy of the exam.
8. Do distract younger siblings who happen to be obsessed with the alphabet during the sight exam. It also helps the accuracy of the exam if little brother isn't calling out the names of the letters before the patient can.
9. Do purchase ahead of time one of those cool hearing amplifier things they sell on tv. That way you can hear the barely audible whisper of the doc, explaining why your kid needs surgery over the commotion of your kids. Of course, if it only amplifies the commotion of your kids and not the doc you're in trouble.
10. Do make sure that if you have an eye appointment you don't go to the dentist and wonder why they don't have you on the schedule. Not only will this save you time, but embarrassment from making the office staff search for 10 mins as to the reason you're not in the system at which time you realize you're at the orthodontist and not opthamologist.

Random Thoughts

2011-01-12T15:37:00.002-06:00

1. Just got back from the OB/GYN. It's been 9 weeks since my last appt. Whoops. I informed my doc about the date I've set for this kid to come (2/22). He says, "Yeah... good luck with that."

2. I don't understand why kids run away from diaper changes. I mean, is it really so fun to walk around with a dirty nappy hanging between your legs? I don't get it.

3. After-school pick-up zones are the most absolute dangerous places to drive/walk.

4. It's not very comforting when you tell your doc you are in incredible amounts of pain and he just chuckles.

5. The latest name we're considering for the baby is Zeus. Is that too ostentatious?

6. Am I completely unreasonable for refusing to wash the the crock pot if Mark refuses to use the liners?

7. I'm still at a loss for the perfect response to a kid who is constantly complaining that things aren't fair. I always hated the old, "Life isn't fair," but I can't think of anything better. Any ideas?

8. I hate banana chairs.

9. I can't help myself when watching movies and the characters are about to make a really bad decision -- no matter how many times I've seen it, I will still try to "talk" them out of it.

10. Hyrum's current obsession is to put things up one or both of his nostrils. I don't even bother to fight him on it anymore.

Question

2011-01-06T22:42:00.002-06:00

Can I count it as having had a "pregnancy moment" if it's not the first or even second time I've locked myself out of the house?

The good news is that no one called the cops on me as I tried to kick in my own door. Again.

The bad news is that on a highly visible and trafficked street, someone can kick against the front door for 20 minutes with people driving and walking past, even parking at the house across the street, and not say or do a dang thing.

Then again, with my big ole pregnant belly, maybe I don't look the part of threatening criminal. But then, wouldn't my plight be all the more visible and pathetic-looking?

p.s.
Btw, I never did manage to kick the door in. Mark did a good job repairing it from the last time I did - and was successful. Which is good, since our friend in the neighborhood just got robbed a couple days ago. Good thing I locked the house up tight, huh?

Christmas 2010

2011-01-06T00:17:00.006-06:00

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I'm a little slow in my posting, but I have good excuses. I always have excuses. It's one of my specialties. :)

Anyhow, this year was quite different and cannot go unmentioned. We did something we never tried before and traveled to spend the holiday with friends! Dear friends, mind you, that we consider to be pretty much family, but still. It was different. And awesome! We went down to San Antonio along with the Hawses and stayed with "Aunt Sally" and "Uncle Joe" Davidson, as our kids know them. What a trip! It was honestly so unexpectedly relaxed and laid-back, I think we were all surprised. We just talked and laughed ourselves silly. And that's saying something, considering the super-cool gift we brought...

That would be the stomach flu.

Oh yeah! Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like spreading the joys of puking all night.

In our short time there we managed to spread the love from Hyrum to Andrea to Maggie to Mark to Caleb to me and to Tracy.

But before all that...fun...we were able to squeeze in some goodtime down town.

The kids absolutely loved, and yet were completely freaked out by the huge, moving dinosaur.

We attempted going to the Alamo, but it was closed for the holiday. Poor Mark. Two trips there now and still hasn't seen it!

We did manage to get some good peeks inside and got a very animated re-telling of the story from an off-duty tour guide.

The kids LOVED hanging together.

So. Dang. Cute.

Dawn was so great with the kids, and they all loved her.

On Christmas Eve, in all their new Christmas jammies, they all piled on her lap while she read stories to them.

Christmas morning!!

Thank you Davidsons!

Thank you Hawses!

We had such a blast. We should do it again some time... minus all the sick, of course.

Lacie-ism

2010-12-29T14:29:00.001-06:00

looking at a picture of herself much younger, Lacie said:
"I miss being that age..."

Andrea-ism

2010-12-28T14:07:00.003-06:00

"OH NO!! We didn't put up any Christmas lights! Now people will think we celebrate Hanukka!"

Fighting kids

2010-12-20T12:12:00.002-06:00

Andrea is upset that Lacie won't play the game her way. I mentioned it's possible that Lacie needs to have some say in the game or it isn't any fun for her. Andrea's reply:
"Yeah, well, she didn't even pick the game!"
...
Kinda my point, kid.

The scene continues with Andrea chiding Lacie, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."
Lacie answers, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit? I don't like that game."

I try to separate them into different rooms. Lacie doesn't want to be in the bedroom, she wants to play in the living room. Andrea doesn't want to be in the toy room, she wants to be in the kitchen. The kitchen and living room connect, and the girls are still visible to each other. Obviously a problem.

Later...
Andrea: "Hey Lacie, maybe we can play together but not fight."
Lacie: "Ummm, no."

Now they're arguing over whose cup has more eggnog.
And now over the movie selection.

I'd ask if this ever ends, but after looking down at my legs and seeing my own childhood battle-scars (ahem, Lexye), I realize what a dumb question that is.

Blabbermouth

2010-12-19T18:09:00.002-06:00

I just posted these thoughts as a comment on a friend's blog (yes, really; hence the title!).
Then I thought, since I do this blog for my own journal-ing purposes I really ought to record my thoughts here. So I am.

"I don't recall ever having anything but meager Christmases growing up*. However, there were some more meager than others. I remember one year we had no money for anything, let alone a tree. Then my mom saw the neighbors trimming their (as luck would have it) pine tree. So she went and swiped a bunch of the branches from off the curb and tied them together into the most pathetic looking "Christmas Bush," as we dubbed it. Truly, it was sad. And yet, that is by far our most memorable Christmas, hands down.
Our family was never grand in our holiday celebrations. I don't think my mom had the time, now that I think back. But at Christmas we did have certain things that we did regardless, that had nothing to do with money or gifts or anything but the Christmas spirit itself -- acting out the nativity, caroling, making bread together, visiting rest homes -- stuff like that. And although now that I have my own family I try to make a big deal about holidays, b/c I just like to, I'm realizing it's more about creating the atmosphere of fun, togetherness and love that makes the excitement.
Sorry for the sermon. Not meant to be such. I think there are a whole lot of people this year feeling the pinch of the economy. You're right - it is depressing. For me, it's easiest if I put blinders on to what everyone else is doing and just concentrate on making things fun for my kids. After all, my kids would rather have me play Barbies with them for an hour than get another toy. Seriously.

One last thought --
last night our neighbors behind us had their house burn down. (That makes 4 houses in our neighborhood that have burnt in the time we've lived here. Eek!) Anyhow, it was a really good wake-up call as to how much we have that could so easily be lost."

*Just to clarify - I'm sure we had Christmases that were not meager. :) It's just that, ironically, those are not the memorable ones that stand out.

Mark-ism

2010-12-16T22:02:00.002-06:00

Mark: "I did something new today."
Me: "Really? And what was that?"
Mark: "I hung a $250,000 picture of dogs over a toilet."

Knock, knock

2010-12-16T15:46:00.002-06:00

Remember the post where I admitted my freakishly-paranoid antics? Yeah. Well, turns out I need to give people more credit.
Example 1:
About a month ago there was a knock on my door. As divulged, I do not answer my door unless I know/expect the person. On this day, there was a man standing on the porch, looking a little agitated. Normally, that's all it would take for me to justify leaving the door un-answered. However, I noticed his car pulled to the side of the road, still running. I figured if the guy wanted to kill us all he either was super-duper speedy or didn't care about wasting gasoline. I figured most serial killers probably take at least a little while to kill off a family, so I threw caution to the wind and answered the door...
Turns out, the guy the guy tracked down the address on the insurance info he had found in the parking lot of Chuck E Cheese. OUR insurance info. He was simply returning it.

Example 2:
A few days ago when the weather turned freakishly cold (well, for Texas anyway!), I got a knock on the door. As always, I peered through the peep-hole, only to find that our Christmas wreath was blocking my view. Blast!
Again throwing caution to the wind, I opened the door. Standing there was a man from the electric company who had come to shut off our power.
(Over-due bill. Fret not; when they asked me the reason for missing the payment I told them to put down "stupidity.")
Anyhow, the man told me he saw the car-seats in my car, and figured he'd give me a head's up on the situation in the event I could quickly take care of it before he had to shut the power off.
!!
Wow! I am so grateful first, for the guy to be so kind and second, that I recklessly answered my door.

Guess maybe I ought to ease up on suspecting the worst of everyone?